I often hear from women who say, “I’m ready to meet ‘the one.’ How will I know when I find him?” or “How do I know if the man I’m dating is the right man for me?”
Your friends might tell you, “You’ll just know!” or “I knew from the moment I met my husband that he was the one for me.”
You may be worried because in the past you thought you “knew” and then it didn’t work out – and if you’re anything like I was, perhaps this happened over and over again.
If you have a tendency to fall for the wrong type of man, are you willing to give that up to have the relationship of your dreams with someone you haven’t met yet?
This takes a leap of faith. It takes trust that you can move from what feels “familiar” to you into the unknown.
Every person who’s in a fantastic relationship at some point had to make the leap from what’s familiar into the unknown (myself included!).
When you’re with the right person, you’ll feel grounded and balanced. You’ll always know where you stand with him because his energy will be coming TOWARDS you.
You WON’T feel obsessive, unbalanced, or uncomfortable in any way. You won’t feel that crazy sense of urgency that makes you want to lean forward and “make something happen” in the relationship.
When you feel that overwhelming intensity when you’re with a man you’re attracted to, many people think that’s what love is, but it’s actually not. That’s often a clue that this person aligns perfectly with your “wounds” or fits right in with your old toxic patterns.
When you’re with the right man for you, everything will feel easy and comfortable – it won’t feel crazy and intense.
We experience fear and excitement in our body in the same way – the only difference is our inner dialogue. If you picture two people in line to ride a roller coaster, and one is excited and one is terrified – what’s happening in their body is exactly the same.
For people who haven’t had easy love lives, or perhaps have even experienced abuse in their past, this often is the case. These two feelings are mixed up for them – and the feeling that SHOULD come across as fear actually comes across as excitement.
The intense obsessive feelings you get when you’re with a man who fits into your old relationship patterns is often a fear response from your subconscious telling you to run away, and that this isn’t the right person for you.
The intensity doesn’t equal true love – even though it can “stir up” feelings in you that may FEEL like love to you.
Instead, the intense feelings are often linked to something in your past.
For example, the feelings of instant “chemistry” you can feel for the wrong kind of men who aren’t going to be into you for the long haul may be linked to your lack of self-acceptance.
To start turning this around, you can ask yourself – what parts of you are YOU not accepting that’s causing you to attract and be attracted to the type of person who’s not accepting you exactly as you are?
Once you get that message, you’ll no longer feel the need to stay connected to that type of person, and you can move forward towards the RIGHT man for you and the relationship of your dreams.
If you’re ready to stop attracting the wrong men (so you can attract the RIGHT one!), click here to listen to a free training I hosted on this topic.
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