Here’s a great article by Evan Marc Katz, a brilliant relationship coach who works exclusively with smart, strong, successful women.
Evan’s full efforts are spent helping women just like you understand and connect with men. Here’s what he has to say:
You’re on a second date with a guy…
He grabs your hand. He looks you in the eyes, lovingly.
Then he says, in a romantic whisper…
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot since we first met last Tuesday. I think that you could be the one for me. So, are you dating anybody else right now? Are you serious about marriage and having kids? Will you be able to spend the holidays with my family? Where is this relationship going?”
These are the kind of words you want to hear eventually from a man you’ve grown to care about – but they’re not what you want to hear from a someone who doesn’t know you at all.
Sure, you’re looking to be in a committed relationship – but only with a man who really understands you and sees you for who you are inside. The truth is…
Just like you get scared off by those too-eager guys, trying to figure out where a relationship is going too soon is a surefire way to push a man away on a deep, unconscious level.
We’ve all been there before! You meet a great guy. You want to know where things are going…
…so that you “don’t waste your time”
…on a man “who may not want to commit”
…and has the “potential to hurt you” just like your last boyfriend.
Because of all of these fears, you may immediately start tensing up, looking for red flags, trying to get clarity, and making sure the other shoe doesn’t drop.
Suddenly, the excitement and passion of a new relationship is replaced by…
“How come your profile is still up?”
“I haven’t heard from you all day, is everything okay?”
“Are you still friends with your exes? Why did you break up?”
“Let’s talk about ‘us.’ Where do you see this going?”
Your pure intention is to protect yourself from getting hurt, and I totally understand that.
But what HE sees is an interrogation about his character and your future – from a woman that he’s known for less than a month.
If you expect a man to know after a few weeks that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and that he’s never going to leave you, your relationship will turn from fun and playful to fearful and intense very quickly.
Commitment is serious – and it’s impossible for a reasonable man who takes commitment seriously to definitively tell you that he’ll love you forever after only knowing you for a few weeks.
That’s why he’s dating you – to figure out whether you’re “the one” before he proposes. Asking (or expecting) a man to make a promise that he can’t keep is essentially asking him to do one of two things:
1) Lie to you – “Yes, I know you’re ‘the one’ and I’ll never even think about another woman!”
2) Leave – because the pressure is too great and it’s not worth his time to be with someone who makes unreasonable demands so early on.
This is NOT to say that you shouldn’t expect a commitment from a man if you’ve been dating him for awhile. In fact, you should absolutely walk away if your relationship isn’t growing and escalating, and providing you with the security you desire.
All I’m saying is that if you want to make it to a commitment, you have to allow him to fall in love with you organically.
Just as you would run from a man who wants to marry you right after meeting you, men feel wary of women who want to know the future before WE know it.
So just sit back, enjoy the ride, and realize that the right man for you will WANT to commit to you by his own volition. You don’t have to DO anything to make it happen when you’re with the right man.
I highly recommend that you check out Evan’s amazing eBook, “Why He Disappeared: The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide To Understanding Men And Keeping The Right One Hooked Forever.”
Evan and I have created a special opportunity for you to learn more about how men think. Within minutes, you’ll have more power and control over your own destiny, and you’ll never again make the same mistakes that push men away.
We put together an amazing, one-of-a-kind package, filled with bonuses designed exclusively for my readers. These high-quality bonuses will give you SO much insight into the male mind. With that knowledge, you can stop agonizing over the failed relationships of your past, and start creating an exciting new future!