You may have heard this quote before: “Every decision we make is either based on FEAR or FAITH.”
A fear-based approach would be, “I have to change myself, because I’m not enough as I am” or “I have to manipulate this situation or I won’t get love.”
On the other hand, a faith-based endeavor would sound like, “Everyone is worthy of love, including me.”
If you’re coming from a place of fear, when you’re with a man – especially a man you really like – your insecurities will be triggered and your first instinct will be to try to cover them up and hide who you really are.
To move OUT OF a fear-based frame of mind – and away from the heartache of your past – you need “beef up” the internal idea of who you are. Here’s how to do it:
1. Stop interpreting “setbacks” as indicators that you’re never going to get love.
There is no rejection, there’s only a wrong fit.
You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, they couldn’t possibly have been the right person for you. You just “weeded them out.”
There’s not a wasted moment or wasted opportunity, because everything in your life is leading you to the love you want and deserve.
2. Shift your attention to what you love about yourself – what YOU believe to be lovable and desirable.
Worrying too much about how you come across or what other people think is fear-based thinking.
Make a list of every single thing you love about yourself, and go back to that list every time you start to feel that you’re not “enough.”
3. Think of how what YOU feel is “unlovable” about yourself could actually be lovable and endearing.
If you think you’re too sensitive or too hot-tempered, start thinking of yourself as “intuitive” or “fiery.”
When someone loves you, they don’t see your “flaws” the way you see them in yourself. Men fall in love with you FOR what you perceive as your flaws, not in spite of them.
There’s a great quote that says: “We’re admired for our strengths, but we’re LOVED for our weaknesses.”
Think about someone you’ve loved – you likely didn’t fall in love with them because they were “perfect” – you fell in love with them for THEM – for who they are as a person, including their quirks and what makes them unique.
You don’t have to conform to someone else’s idea of what’s lovable – because what’s lovable is right there inside of you already!
Once you get yourself out of fear-based thinking and into faith-based thinking, everything will shift in the right direction and you’ll be in that energy where you’ll start attracting the right kind of men – or the man you’re with now will start to see you in a whole new way.
In the next post, I’m going to share how to get INTO a faith-based frame of mind.