love-outsideIf you’ve ever spent time trying to figure out what you need to say or do to “get” a certain person to love you – or even changed yourself in order to earn or keep someone’s love – you may be chasing down love outside of yourself
If you’re anything like I was before I turned things around, you may want love so badly because you think that’s what’s going to heal you or “fix” you.
Deep down you may be thinking, “If I can win this person’s love, I’ll finally feel lovable and everything in my life will be complete.”
If you don’t learn to find the love inside yourself first, it will keep you chasing down love on the outside that you think is going to heal you – but it never does.

When you put the key to your happiness in someone else’s hands – if they don’t do what you want, you can take that to mean that you’re not worthwhile or lovable!

The truth is, falling in love with yourself is the only way to actually believe that someone else will really love you.
If you don’t fall in love with yourself, you’ll always be “faking” your way through love. You’ll have to pretend and try really hard to become what someone else wants. It’s exhausting to keep up the false facade!
Also, if you’re not true to yourself – when someone tells you they love you, you won’t believe them anyway!
If you think that if you present a certain way, THEN you’ll get true love – you’ll want to switch that around in your mind.

In order to stop chasing love outside of yourself, you first need to realize that love doesn’t come from somewhere “out there” – it comes from INSIDE yourself.

Before I figured that out, I had men who wanted to love me but it never felt right – it was never “enough.” It never did what I thought it was going to do – there was always something “off” because I was feeling off inside myself!
To discover this love inside yourself, you first need to decide that YOU are worthy of your own time and energy. You’re worthy of becoming curious about who you are, caring about your own desires, and becoming engaged in your own life.
Then you need to decide that you’re worth including in a loving relationship – instead of suffocating yourself trying to become what you think is going to appeal to someone else.

You want to get the love from INSIDE yourself first, then you’ll start attracting men who want to love you and give you everything – just because you’re YOU!

You may think that if you stop presenting a certain way, you’re going to lose someone’s love – or you won’t ever get their love in the first place. This only increases the shame and decreases your feelings of self-worth.
When you start eroding away your self-esteem this way, it will cost you more than love – it will cost you in ALL areas in your life.
The more you’re willing to honor yourself and be proud of who you are, the more REAL love you can receive and the more you can believe it.
It all starts with the relationship you have with YOURSELF – including your opinions, your passions, your purpose, and being willing to discover who you really are. Many people don’t know what’s really them and what’s just part of the “persona” they manufactured years ago.

When you start including yourself, all of a sudden there’s somebody “home” inside you to love!

You may think including yourself is too dangerous, or too scary. But in order to be able to receive love from others, you have to start including yourself and start choosing yourself.
Discovering who you are and what you want takes time, energy, and commitment – but the benefit is that you start feeling love because you’ll find that there’s actually somebody “in there” TO love!
See what happens when you start bringing yourself to the table – and realize that ALL of you is worthy of love, not just the parts of you that you want to show.


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