What’s keeping you stuck in a place where you’re not moving forward in your love life is most likely FEAR.
Intimacy is scary – we’re afraid that we’re going to merge with the other person – and at the same time, we WANT to merge with the other person. Men have these same fears and feelings as well.
What we want to do is start dissolving our Blocks to Love.
First we have to learn what our Blocks to Love look like, so we can recognize them when they show up. See how many of these Blocks to Love sound familiar to you:
– Not wanting to open up to a man too quickly (even about small things)
– “Shutting down” or “freezing up” when a man approaches you
– Never feeling attracted to the “nice guys” who want to date you
– Feeling irritated, annoyed, or otherwise “turned off” when a man is pursuing you
– Having stringent external requirements for a man who wants to date you
– Keeping your heart guarded at all times
– Constantly looking for “faults” in men who want to love you
I’ve done ALL of these things at some point or another.
I had to learn that my resistance to opening up and letting men get close to me was blocking love – and the right kind of men – from coming toward me.
At the heart of all of my resistance to letting love in was FEAR.
The good news is – what’s going on for us in this moment can change in the next! The first step is becoming aware of what’s holding us back.
Often times, it’s not the fear itself – but the running away from fear that’s keeping us where we are and holding us back from love.
When we start EMBRACING our fear – and our anger, our loneliness, and all of the other feelings we’d rather stuff down, run away from, and NOT feel – we start organically moving toward where we want to be instead of staying stuck where we are in the moment.
You want to FEEL the full force of your fear – and the rest of your feelings – without acting OUT of them.
This is how we start getting out of the cage that we’ve put ourselves in. We’re in the cage because this is where we feel safe – but as long as we’re in there, the kind of love and men that we want can’t get to us.
Most of us have “stuff” in our way that’s blocking love from coming toward us.
This is where Rori Raye’s tool of Circular Dating can help tremendously. If you’re going to get past your Blocks to Love, you need to practice – and you need people to practice with!
See if you can start identifying your Blocks to Love, and start embracing the fear and all of the other feelings you’ve been trying to run away from.