Here’s a letter from a client that demonstrates exactly how it should feel when you’re meeting new men:
Hi Helena,
One of my friends had me join her at a Singles Meet Up for bowling and billiards today. I was surprised at how fun it was! I decided just to focus on what was in front of me and not worry about “working the room” in case I wasn’t meeting the “right” guy.
Actually the first lane I joined, before the game started, there were a couple of guys who weren’t talking to me. So when my friend showed up, I moved! The old me might have stuck around, but I figured if the guys weren’t stepping up I didn’t want to wait around to be noticed.
Jeff, a guy on my bowling team, started talking to me and we had some good laughs. I think he is a bit younger and normally I wouldn’t have paid attention to him because he’s not my normal type, but he ended up being the best bowler on our team and then invited me to join him in the pool hall! When I went in there he made sure I was his pool partner and then when the event wrapped up he asked for my number and suggested we get coffee or he could show me some more pool tricks sometime.
I LOVED how he made me feel in terms of being attentive and stepping up! I felt very feminine. It’s so cool because it felt SO easy!!! Just felt like sharing! – Christina
This is a great example of how Rori Raye’s tool of Circular Dating and meeting new men should feel – FUN and EASY!
You can see how Christina’s vibe is shifting. In the past, she may have stuck around in hopes that the men in the first group would start talking to her – or maybe even tried to strike up a conversation herself and “get them interested” in her.
This time, she simply put herself in a place where a great, masculine-energy man could approach her – and he did!
When you’re meeting new men, the ONLY thing that matters is how you FEEL in their presence – things like age and “type” aren’t important here. All that matters is the feeling that you can be yourself and not have to work so hard.
The #1 thing you should be looking for in a man is that his energy is coming towards you – so attracting the RIGHT kind of man should feel completely effortless.
This is a BIG contrast to how it feels for many women. Unfortunately, some women are attracted to men who’s energy is NOT coming towards them – or even moving AWAY from them.
Where you can get into trouble is when you’re not interested in the men who ARE paying attention to you because you’re hung up on the ones who AREN’T.
Or – if you’re anything like I was – you may be too busy trying to “get” certain men interested in you that you don’t even notice the men who are ALREADY interested in you for exactly who you are.
The good news is, for every man who isn’t paying attention to you or “stepping up” – there are MANY men who would do anything to be in your presence!
You don’t have to say or do anything to attract the right kind of masculine-energy men. All you need to do is lean back and keep your energy open – and the right man for you will come running!
See if you can start noticing THOSE men – and get yourself in a place (physically and mentally) where they can get to you.
For more information on how to effortlessly attract love and the right kind of man, click here to check out my Effortlessly Attract Love Program.
Thanks for sharing my story, Helena! One thing I have noticed as I practice “leaning back” through circular dating is that I never know when it will feel effortless! It comes as a surprise. Last night I was kind of moping around and feeling very tempted to reach out to an ex boyfriend. But I decided to recommit myself to “leaning back” and instead called a girlfriend to chat about other things.
Before I went to bed I got a very nice message from an OK Cupid fellow wanting to set up a time to talk on the phone. This guy had sent me a nice message a month ago, which I replied to, and then he completely disappeared. And then he reappeared to pick up the conversation as if no time had passed!
It shows me that men operate on some different kind of time frame than a lot of women. And that just because we don’t hear from a man for a few days or even weeks, that it doesn’t necessarily mean he has written us off totally or has forgotten about us. The guy in the story above is another good example, we had fun connection and he was totally stepping up and leaning in, and even sent a brief text the following day, but I haven’t heard from him since!
It feels good to stay centered in my calm, feminine energies instead of acting on that urgency to make things happen.
Christina – YES! That’s exactly right! Men often to operate on a different time frame than women. If a few days go by without a phone call or text – that could feel like an eternity to us – but for men a few days could go by very quickly. You’re absolutely right, it doesn’t necessarily “mean” anything at all! When we start to attach meaning to things like that, it usually doesn’t serve us well.
The key here is to let go of expectations and BE SURPRISED – which is part of the Rori Raye Mantra.
This is completely brilliant – “It feels good to stay centered in my calm, feminine energies instead of acting on that urgency to make things happen.” I love it!!
Love, Helena
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