3d love button for coupleOnline dating can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when you’re first starting out. I’ve found that following a few simple guidelines can make the whole experience so much easier – and actually fun!
These guidelines will help you navigate through the world of online dating and attract the right kind of man:
* DO use feeling messages when filling out your online dating profile.
* DO keep your emails short when responding to potential matches. Two or three sentences is fine.
* DO give nice guys a chance, even if they’re not your physical type or don’t have the kind of job you’d ideally like them to have.
* DO make a backup plan when you schedule a first date with someone so you won’t feel bad if they cancel at the last minute.
* DO keep the first date casual and short. An hour is enough time to get a feel for someone and see if you enjoy spending time with them.
* DO keep the conversation light on the first date. Talk about things you’re passionate about in a positive way, rather than talking about past relationships or stressful family or work situations. Be playful and fun – and remember to speak in feeling messages.
* DO be genuinely curious about him. Even if he’s not your Prince Charming, there’s probably something positive you can gain or something you can learn about yourself through your interaction with him.
* DO be yourself, rather than who you think he wants you to be. Authenticity is a sign of confidence, and confidence is very attractive to men. The right man will want to be with you for exactly who you are!
* DO physically lean back in your chair and smile when you’re on a date, rather than leaning toward him. He’ll lean toward you when you do this. Be warm and inviting when he does.
* DO listen to your intuition. You don’t have to say yes to every man who asks you out if you get a weird vibe from him.
* DO keep your energy open to all men in real life as well. Once you start dating online you may notice more men checking you out as you go about your daily activities, such as at the grocery store or the gym. Smile and make eye contact with every man you interact with throughout the day.
* DON’T be the initiator when it comes to dating. For example, let him be the one to ask you out. You want to experience his energy coming TOWARDS you, not the other way around. If you come across someone online who you think may be a good match, certain dating sites will let you add him to your “favorites” – but let him do all the initiating after that. If he’s interested he’ll take over from there.
* DON’T create a fantasy in your mind about a man before you actually meet him in person. Being overly invested in the idea of someone before getting to know them most often leads to disappointment. It’s better to just show up without giving it much thought and be pleasantly surprised by who you meet!
* DON’T drive to a man on dates. For a first date, find a public place to meet near you where you feel comfortable, like a coffee shop or somewhere where you can walk around.
* DON’T try to “convince” him that you’re a great catch. Anything that looks or sounds like convincing comes across as insecure and desperate to a man.
* DON’T rush to fill in any awkward pauses that might come up during a conversation. Just smile and let him do the best he can – he’s probably nervous too!
* DON’T worry about it if a guy disappears on you – if he doesn’t ask you out for a second date or says he’s going to call and doesn’t – no matter how good looking, smart, or charismatic he is. Trying to figure out what happened or what’s going on with him will NOT help you. If a man is available and wants to see you again, he’ll contact you and let you know. If he doesn’t, don’t get hung up on it. Forget about him and move on to the many men who ARE interested in you!

    8 replies to "Increase Your Success In Online Dating"

    • Kendra

      Hi Helena,
      This is a really useful list to keep handy! I have a question about being “genuinely curious about him.” Does this mean it is OK to ask questions? I was trying to avoid going into reporter mode.

      • Helena Hart

        Great question!! It’s definitely ok to ask questions, you just want to make sure you’re opening up and answering some of HIS questions first. The first thing we do when we don’t want to be vulnerable is turn all of the attention onto the other person.The best thing to do would be to answer a couple of his questions using feeling messages, then ask, “How about you?” Be curious about him and really listen to what he says.
        Love, Helena

    • เกมส์

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    • Willena

      Its great when I can find information that is complimentary to my needs, thanks!

    • handbag

      Nice job on presenting the information, this was very helpful.

    • smile

      I love your presentation, I hope you keep writing and providing information like this.

    • Natalie

      Great article Helena. What are your thoughts about phone numbers? Should we wait for him to ask or is it better for us to initiate and provide our number to him?

      • Helena Hart

        Hi Natalie,
        This is a great question! I would wait and let a man ask for your phone number, rather than initiating and sending it to him before he asks. If he sends you his phone number, rather than being the first one to call him, you can respond with your phone number and let him know that it would feel good to connect over the phone. Hope that helps!
        Love, Helena

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