What men are actually picking up on with us is often different than what we think.

I remember practically “rehearsing my lines” before dates with men I was attracted to – I wanted “prove” to them that I was smart, funny and easy going.

I was going about it in all the wrong ways!

Imagine you’re on a date, sitting across the table from a man. Imagine he’s gorgeous, and you’re experiencing all kinds of feelings with him.

You may be feeling excited – because you feel like you’re connecting with him on so many levels.

You’re probably feeling the urge to “show” him how smart and fun you are – you want him to know that you’re a great catch!

You might be wondering what HE’S thinking, whether or not he likes you, or if you look alright. You want to keep connecting about all the things you have “in common” – AND…

All the man is picking up on is your level of TENSION.

That’s the whole thing he’s experiencing – your VIBE.

Often times, we’re busy thinking about all the things we have in common and that we’re connecting on all these levels – and all he’s thinking is, “I’m not feeling anything here. She’d be a great friend, but there’s nothing romantic going on.”

This is what happens when we’re only connecting from mind to mind.

What you want to do instead is connect with his HEART. 

This is where building trust from the moment you start talking to a man will help you tremendously.

Tracking your body will help you release some of the tension you’re feeling. To do this…

1. “Check in” with where you’re holding tension in your body. 

Notice if you’re holding tension in your shoulders, your stomach, your legs, or somewhere else – “check in” with every part of your body.

2. The moment you notice tension somewhere, put your hand on that part of your body.

3. “Breathe into” that part of your body and allow the tension to release.

This is often much easier than trying to “relax” your entire body all at once.

4. Notice if the tension moves somewhere else.

For example, you might notice then tension move from your shoulders to your stomach. Start paying attention to this.

5. Follow the tension around your body by repeating Steps 1 – 4. 

Try tracking your body this way the next time you’re standing in front of a man.

See if this helps you take your focus OFF of what what he’s thinking, how you look, or if he likes you.

This will shift your vibe and make you incredibly attractive to him!

If you want to learn the secrets to connecting deeply with a man’s heart in a way that inspires his love, devotion and commitment – click here to check out my newest program, “Connect With His Heart.”

    8 replies to "The Surprising Thing Men Pick Up On"

    • Carrie

      Love this Helena! Letting him see you being yourself works like a charm!

      • Helena Hart

        Thanks Carrie!! Yes it does! 🙂
        Love, Helena

    • Arpita

      I felt tensed as I kept reminding myself that I will speak in ‘I feel messages’…I went to the gym where the man is who I like and wow I was standing in front of the mirror and was touching my stomach and then again I felt the tension move to my shoulders I touched there and I don’t know how the guy felt as he did look at me but I was feeling so relaxed that I started yawning after sometime!!

      • Helena Hart

        That’s fantastic!! You can see how the tension in your body will move from one place to another. Keeping your focus on yourself this way instead of on what he’s thinking will shift your vibe. I’m so glad this helped you feel more relaxed!
        Love, Helena

    • kyla

      Hi Helena! Love your blog, very helpful.
      All he feels is your level of tension, oooh I love this, so nicely summed up!

      • Helena Hart

        Thanks Kyla!! I’m so glad it’s been helpful! 🙂
        Love, Helena

    • Robbin

      Sometimes it seems like the information you need isn’t out there, then you find a blog like yours, thanks for sharing!

    • best

      The information here is first class! I hope I can come back again soon.

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