suffering-910632-mHere’s a question from Jeanine, who got her heart broken by a man she’d invested in for almost two years. It highlights the dangers of becoming invested in a man before you know whether or not you’re on the same page, which is something many women can relate to.
The Question:
Dear Helena,
I was in a relationship for almost two years and he ended it without much warning. This was the first and only relationship I’ve been in since my divorce five years ago. I was shocked and devastated. Even though he never talked much about the future, I thought we had a good thing. I wasn’t dating anyone else during that time, hoping that he would commit to me. Why would he stay with me for that long if he didn’t intend on being with me long term?
My Answer:
Jeanine – I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now, I can definitely relate.
In this situation, the question is not “Why would he stay with me for that long if he didn’t intend on being with me long term?”

The question is, “Why do we get invested in a man to the point where if he makes a decision, we’re going to be devastated?”

I don’t want your own masculine energy to ever let you go through that again – your masculine energy is supposed to protect you!
NOT the way we’re used to protecting ourselves – by putting up a wall of “armor” around our heart to keep from showing who we are.

Your masculine energy needs to protect you by simply not allowing you to invest in a man before you know what he wants with you and what he envisions for the future. 

When you invest in a man before knowing if you’re on the same page in terms of the relationship – you end up waiting for him with your heart “hanging in the balance.”
What do you think that does to your vibe? Do you think that inspires him to pursue you, step up and commit to you? Most often, the answer is NO.
If you were invested in this man exclusively for two years without any talk of commitment – that’s the problem right there.

Rori Raye’s tool of Circular Dating is the answer and the “cure” for not getting invested in a man before he offers you the commitment you want.

Circular Dating is what allows you to practice all of these tools with every man who shows up – and practice not feeling a sense of urgency.
Your masculine energy cannot let you get invested to the point where you start to feel urgent. The moment you feel urgent – something’s wrong – and that’s a big clue that you’re too invested.
Moving forward, start by spending time with men who are crazy about you and who’s energy is coming towards you. Treat them all equally without getting hung up on any one man until you know you’re on the same page.
Love, Helena

    5 replies to "Are You Too Invested In A Man?"

    • Tashia

      Always great to see good information that I can use.

      • Helena Hart

        Thanks Tashia! I’m so glad it was helpful for you.
        Love, Helena

    • Amber

      Thanks for this reminder, Helena!
      I’ve been overly invested in every one of my relationships, and it never ends well. I WAS overly invested in (T) my current beau, but started dating other people when I realized he might never be able to commit to me. I love him, and we are sexually exclusive now, but I am actually ready to date others at the drop of a hat. I wouldn’t have a sexual relationship with anyone else, that’s part of our agreement, but I firmly believe the fact that I have “options” is the reason (T) has stepped up his pursuit of me, and is really trying hard to keep me happy. I’m the prize, and he’s not the only one who recognizes that. YAY!

      • Helena Hart

        Amber – Yes!! YOU’RE the prize, and he knows he’s not the only one who recognizes that – that’s so brilliant! That’s exactly how it works, and I love how you’re seeing that he’s now stepping up and pursuing YOU, rather than the other way around. Thanks for sharing your incredibly inspiring success story!
        Love, Helena

    • Pauline

      I was with a guy for almost a year. Long distance. He gas lighted me and I fell hard. After I fell for him, he backed off. Problems were his inability to share his self with me emotionally and I always felt like I was hitting a brick wall with emotional connection. Finally I said unless you come forward-please leave me alone as I want more connection. He said that he doesn’t feel that he can do this as this wasn’t him. I would have saved myself lots of grief if I had let him go when I realized he was unavailable. Sigh. Pauline

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