Do you have a pattern of attracting losers and “bad boys” who always break your heart or never take the relationship to the next level?
These are the men who are totally into themselves and have little empathy for a woman’s needs. They have a pattern of sweet talking women in an attempt to sweep them off their feet (and into the nearest bed), but they have no intentions of ever meeting her needs or committing. They’re very good at what they do because they’ve had a lot of practice!
These men are wonderful in the beginning of a relationship – however, in time they almost ALWAYS become less attached and more distant to their partner.
As soon as they sense that you have even a hint of expectations about him or the relationship, they start to withdraw. Some stop calling, others suddenly get “busy” and break dates – and the relationship starts to fizzle after that.
Women can easily fall for men like this when they confuse INTENSITY with RELIABILITY.
Have you ever met or dated a man like this? Perhaps he never said he loved you – or whenever you spoke about your needs or commitment, he’d “shut down” or change the subject.
No woman ever wakes up in the morning and says to herself, “Today I’m going to find a man who will hurt me.”
Instead, she usually meets someone who makes her feel wonderful or excited at first and assumes he’s looking for the same type of relationship that she is – and she invests herself based on the intensity of her feelings. The problem isn’t that her feelings are wrong.
What gets women into trouble is that their intense feelings often cause them to ignore bad or inconsistent behavior that they’d clearly see if they weren’t so emotionally invested.
What if there was a way to effortlessly attract men that were both EXCITING as well as DEPENDABLE? Thankfully there is! My friend Bob Grant has been helping women attract and maintain the relationship of their dreams in his private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach for the past 17 years.
He’s the author of “The Woman Men Adore…And Never Want To Leave” – a mouth-watering, powerful eBook about what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. I read his book for the first time about five years ago and it made a HUGE difference in my love life.
I wonder about this with me… I do know that sometimes sub consciously I might look for a man that will disappoint me. I also know that I don’t fall for intensity, I look for actions and also is he emotionally mature enough, communicative enough, and willing to grow. Unfortunately that is also something they can fake in the beginning. They can be ALL of those things in the beginning to “get you”. And then slowly back off and become their true self. Which is a huge turn off for me. I start feeling deceived and it might take a bit but I’ll walk.
It sounds like you’re totally on the right track, especially the fact that you feel turned off when man starts to back off – that’s fantastic!! What will help you is to make sure you’re not getting too invested in a man until you know that he’s capable of having the kind of relationship you’re looking for AND that he’s crazy about you and in it for the “long haul.” Until then, I’d keep your options open to prevent yourself from getting too invested.
Love, Helena