Having a “High Degree of Difficulty” simply means having such a full life and thinking so highly of yourself that a man would HAVE to be the “pursuer” in order to spend any time with you at all!
This is a very different feeling and “vibe” than chasing a man down, trying to impress him and “prove” to him that you’re a great catch.
First, let’s look at what having a LOW Degree of Difficulty looks like:
…initiating contact with a man.
…asking a man out.
…driving to a man for a date.
…paying on dates.
…offering to help a man with something if he hasn’t specifically asked.
…holding space open in your schedule for a man if he hasn’t asked you out yet.
…playing “therapist” or “counselor” to a man by helping him “figure something out.”
…tolerating bad behavior or anything that doesn’t feel good to you.
…closing down your options and dating a man exclusively before he offers you the commitment you’re looking for.
Now, imagine you had two pieces of jewelry – an imitation diamond necklace that cost you $5, and a REAL diamond necklace that cost you $5,000.
Even if these two necklaces looked identical, if you had to work hard and save for the real diamond necklace – it would have a higher Degree of Difficulty – so there would be a different feeling attached to it.
You’d value it more.
You’d handle it with more care to make sure you’d be able to keep it forever.
If you were attending a special event, which necklace do you think you’d wear?
This is similar to how it works in dating – I want you to start treating YOURSELF like you would the expensive diamond necklace!
Pretending to be “hard to get” is NOT the same has having a “High Degree of Difficulty.”
In fact, pretending anything will come across as needy, insecure, and desperate to a man. He’ll be able to pick up in your vibe that this is all about him – which will weaken his attraction to you.
In other words, it HAS to be authentic!
Circular Dating will AUTOMATICALLY increase your Degree of Difficulty!
Since you’ll be in the center of many men who are vying for your time and attention, you simply won’t have time for a man who isn’t actively pursuing you.
If a man isn’t “stepping up” and pursuing you or doing his job in the relationship, he’ll simply get “lost in the shuffle” and lose you to a more masculine-energy man.
When you’re Circular Dating, you’ll start to feel less attached to any one particular man, because all of the sudden he’s not the only man in the world.
This attitude and vibe is unbelievably attractive to a man! It will inspire his masculine need to “win” you.
If you can keep this “High Degree of Difficulty” vibe going during the courtship of dating and throughout the entire relationship, everything else will fall into place.
Once you get this vibe down and it starts to feel more natural – men will feel more attracted to you, and all kinds of things will start to organically shift in the right direction!
I love this!! Especially that when you’re circular dating “all of the sudden he’s not the only man in the world.” This was a great reminder to not be too focused on any one man when you’re just starting to date him.
Thanks Sara! Exactly – keeping your energy open when you’re Circular Dating automatically increases your “Degree of Difficulty” – by preventing you from getting a “laser focus” on any one particular man before you have the commitment you’re looking for.
Love, Helena
Love this post, thank you!!
love it!
This post was very helpful. Thank you.