If men are single and they’re out in the world looking for a woman – or they’re meeting you for the first time after you’ve been communicating online – there are certain things they look for in a potential relationship partner right off the bat.
I’ve heard many men say that you know the value of something in your life – whether it’s the true value or the perceived value – by the aftertaste of the experience.
This is a great way to look at first dates or when you’re meeting men for the first time – what’s the aftertaste of the experience? This way you can reverse engineer it.
What’s the aftertaste of the date that you had, or the conversation that you had with a man?
Were you looking at each other and smiling? Were you laughing together? Were you comfortable being yourself with him? Do you feel good about yourself having gone through that experience?
These are great questions to ask yourself. You want to pay attention to how it FEELS to be with this man – how relaxed you are around him and how you feel about YOURSELF in his presence.
This is similar to the way men think about first dates or the first time they meet a woman.
Ultimately, men want to feel admired and appreciated for who they are and what they do.
If you don’t admire who a man is and what he does, he probably isn’t a good match for you – because you don’t want to be faking this. It needs to be 100% authentic.
If a man walks away from the date or the first conversation thinking things like…
“Wow, I really had a great time! She seems genuinely interested in me…”
“She seems to admire what I stand for…”
“She believes in what I do out in the world…” (This could be his job, what he does in his free time, or his life’s purpose.)
…then the aftertaste of that experience was good, and he’ll want to pursue you and get to know you more!
Men also want to feel that you’re genuinely curious about him, not just looking to him to fill a role.
Just like you, a man needs to feel that you’re interested in him for who he is – not just for what he can provide.
The minute a man senses that you have an agenda other than getting to know him, he’ll immediately start to feel less attracted and connected to you.
It’s tempting to think that you need to know right away whether or not a man could be “the one” – but the danger comes in making this the primary focus of your early interactions with him. Take your time to get to know him and let him see that you enjoy being with him, and that he’s not just a “means to an end.”