Here’s a comment from Tami from a previous post, and a question about how to naturally attract men when you’re online dating and responding to emails. Thank you, Tami!
“I love this post, really felt enlightened and relaxing to me. Would you please post an article on how to use these same principles with online dating, especially how to naturally attract men at first email contact? Thank you.”
Online dating is an amazing tool for meeting men you wouldn’t otherwise cross paths with in real life.
I always encourage my clients to try online dating if they’re looking to meet a great man – or many great men! It’s also how I met my amazing husband.
The “Rule of Minimal Effort” is a great rule of thumb for women when it comes to dating, both online and in real life. This means…
You want the man to be the initiator when it comes to dating – while you’re leaning back in your feminine energy – and this applies to online dating as well.
I wouldn’t recommend spending hours actively searching for men online.
In my experience – and in the experiences of most of my clients and other women I know – when a woman emails a man first on an online dating site, it usually doesn’t “materialize.”
The man may respond to your email, and you may even talk on the phone or go out on a date – but from what I’ve found, the likelihood of it turning into anything more than that is much greater if the man was the first one to initiate contact.
This has been my experience and the experience of most women I know – you get to explore and experiment! You can always try emailing a man first and see what happens. But generally speaking, I’d recommend just responding to whoever shows up.
When you’re responding to emails, you want to keep your responses short – two or three lines is ideal. Here’s the basic format for how to respond to a man’s initial email:
1. The first line should be something about his picture.
This can be as simple as, “I like the blue shirt you’re wearing in your photo…” or “Your dog is adorable…”
2. The second line should be something about his profile.
This could be something like, “…and I noticed you like hiking, so do I!”
3. The third line is optional – it can be something along the lines of, “I’m intrigued…”
That’s it! Don’t say, “Looking forward to talking to you…” or “Hope you have a great day…” – just come up with a couple lines using this format, and sign your name.
This should only take a minute or two for each email you respond to, which will keep you from burning out and losing motivation – since no one wants to spend hours coming up with long paragraph responses for every email you receive.
This will also keep a man’s energy coming towards you – try it and see what happens!