Couple in love - happy relax at homeOne of the best ways to attract the man you want – or the man you’re already with – is to be in your feminine energy when you’re with him.

That’s why understanding the difference between masculine and feminine energy is crucial.

Masculine energy is all about doing, thinking, planning, scheduling, and making decisions.

Men DO good to feel good. Believe it or not, giving and nurturing are also masculine traits – they involve taking action.

A masculine-energy man goes after what he wants, and asks his partner how she feels about it. A good man will take your feelings into account when he’s planning and making decisions.

A man will usually be able to feel right away if you’re open and receptive to him – or if you’re going to go “competitive” on him.

What masculine-energy men really want is to make YOU happy. One of their biggest desires is to be with a woman who’s able to RECEIVE what he has to give!

It’s important to keep in mind that acknowledgment and appreciation are the “fuel” that men run on. Men want to know that what they do makes you happy!

Feminine energy is all about being, receiving, allowing, experiencing, and expressing.

Women FEEL good to do good. A feminine-energy woman receives first – and if it feels good to her, she’ll show appreciation.

When you’re in your feminine energy, you’re leaning back, observing, and letting yourself just BE in the moment – rather than always trying to move things forward or “make something happen” when you’re with a man.

A feminine-energy woman gives back, but she isn’t always the one who initiates the giving. This keeps her in the feminine receiving mode, which is INCREDIBLY attractive to men!

You definitely don’t want to do away with your masculine energy completely – this is actually about ramping up both your masculine and feminine energies.

You want to use your masculine energy in work and in your OWN life, and then be in your feminine energy when you’re with a man.

When you start taking over some of the masculine role in the relationshipby always being the one who initiates contact with a man, asks him out, drives to him for dates, pays for the date, or constantly offers unsolicited help or suggestions – that’s often when men can start to feel less attracted and connected to you.

Many women are giving and “doing” too much without realizing it, and resentment can start to build when they feel like they aren’t getting enough in return (or if the relationship isn’t moving forward as quickly as they’d like).

Constantly giving and overfunctioning can actually come across like mothering or micro-managing to a man – and it ends up pushing him away on a deep, unconscious level. 

If you’re always leaning forward and giving too much and a man starts to get comfortable with that, you’ll lose that feeling of him wanting you. The truth is – men value what they have to work for – just like we do!

Feminine energy is extremely powerful – it’s about being open and receptive, while having boundaries at the same time.

Saying “no” to something that doesn’t feel good to you is a very feminine-energy quality!

Many women are afraid that setting a boundary will turn a man off – but the truth is, a man can’t love and respect you any more than you love and respect YOURSELF.

A man will fall head over heels for a woman who knows her value and puts her OWN heart first.

Shifting into your feminine energy when you’re with a man takes some awareness, but once you try it and start to get incredible results, it will start to feel much more natural.

When you lean back and demonstrate that you can receive from a man – and show a lot of appreciation when he gives to you and makes you happy – that’s when a man feels the most connected to you and can REALLY fall in love.  

If you want to build the kind of deep attraction and connection with a man that inspires his love, devotion and commitment, click here to check out my eBook,“Attract The Man You Want.”

    15 replies to "The #1 Way To Attract The Man You Want (Or The Man You’re With!)"

    • Shahrzad

      Learning lots from your awesome blogs and newsletter. Being in my feminine energy is becoming more and more natural. It feels great. Thank you 🙂

      • Helena Hart

        Hi Shahrzad,
        That’s fantastic!! I’m so happy to hear you’ve been learning a lot and that being in your feminine energy is feeling great and becoming more natural. I’d love to hear about how things continue to go for you!
        Love, Helena

        • Brenda

          Hi helena my name is brenda
          I have my boyfriend but I feel he very distance with some times i feel he is not the same guy I meet. How di make home forget other.women i be the only one for him

    • […] your masculine energy is not taking care of your feminine energy – the part of yourself that’s about feeling, experiencing, receiving, and expressing – […]

    • Rachel

      You wrote “A feminine-energy woman gives back, but she isn’t always the one who initiates the giving.”
      how do we know the right amount of giving back? Can you give some examples?
      Thanks Helena!

      • Helena Hart

        Great question, Rachel! It’s all about how it FEELS to you – so if a man has been giving to you and doing something for him would feel good to you (such as cooking him dinner if he’s taken you out on several dates), that’s great!
        We can just get into trouble when we give to a man when we’re coming from a place of “lack” (such as when we want MORE from him) or we’re trying to make something happen in the relationship – I call this “giving to get.” When we give from this place it usually feels terrible, especially if the man doesn’t do what we were hoping he’d do – and this energy pushes him away on a deep, unconscious level.
        Love, Helena

    • Suzanne

      I love this Helena.. in my past relationships Iv had to take charge.. as I was afraid they weren’t responsible enough. My new guy is so responsible I have to learn to lean back like you said. Is it to masculine to say first in texts.. ok you go now.. or you better go it’s getting late?? Or should I wait for him to say those things? I’m so used to taking charge. Thank for any suggestions.

    • Meg

      Not allowing the sweetest man who pursued me to give to me truly hurt him. He was offering me everything right away and I got scared. Especially after he kept giving himself to other women when we were out together and telling me he invited them over. Why was he doing that? He found an older retired woman and gave her everything which she happily received because he is a very good man and has proven to be very faithful to her. When I lived in another state he was the sweetest. When I lived 10 miles away he ignored me most of the time. I was very confused and thought we were through. On occasion he would text me a picture and tried to restart our long distance relationship again which I was very happy to do. I loved being with him and missed him. But he refused to visit me 8 hours away when he could have as I often did for him. That hurt me. I moved back near him and he happily invited me over to work things out. I learned that he was back actively on a date site and actually saw him unexpectedly on a date with a beautiful younger woman who didn’t return his affection and I went to see him with this extremely confused fear & awkwardness. I was very nervous and spent 5 hours waiting for him to talk about us. Well he prepared a meal then watched a boring movie while sitting next to me awkwardly and constantly checking his phone. He finally said he had things to do before bed since he has 5am work I well know. As he walked me to the door he barely gently hugged me which confused me more. I returned a much more intensive hug and he began to kiss me. We obviously didn’t want to part. He asked me to stay for sex which I refused since we had not worked things out nor established anything exclusive etc. So he walked me to the door and said we’ll do this again and watched me drive away. That was my last chance with him. He found the older woman he’s now with, that night on a date site probably as I drove away. That was 2 years ago now. I’ve not met a sweeter man. My question is, I don’t understand what happened. I was there yet someone else stole his heart. Why do I still miss him?

    • Kim

      What do I do when the man compliments you a lot and is great in the bedroom, makes plans and txts more than calls. Then on the day of a planned date he doesn’t call with any time or information, doesn’t reply to txt msgs and ghosts you for a couple days. So confused

    • Harley

      Love you #helena hart you make my heart feel good again because my ex man as disappointed me for so long..
      Keeping promised without fulfilled
      Now, I’ve learn how to get him back to u🙏Helena

    • Namubiru shanitah

      Helo my name is Shanitah and am from Uganda, l met my boyfriend on one site but we haven’t meet yet and we always talk and now its one year but he always tells that he will come to mmete but l don’t know whether he is telling the truth coz for me am starting loosing tust in him, ploz help me way should l do and he is always busy year to yearl need help

    • caroline

      I have this guy i love so much and some times he also cares for me. However, he is the kind of person who does not respond to my texts, he rarely calls and does even have time for me. what do i do to bring him close to me?

      • miss buhle

        Just be you baby girl, if he is yours he will definitely realise how much you mean to him. Do not put yourself under pressure, sometimes you might be misreading signs, he might be just friendly on the times when you think he cares about you.

    • Tori

      Ladies, reading your reply’s makes me want to pull my hair out:( If a guy is acting shady in any way. ANYWAY! Pull away and take care of yourself. Focus on you! He will come to you if you are important to him and you should only want to be with someone whom you are important to!!! If he doesn’t come around on his own then someone else will and that is something you shouldn’t compromise on. Not for his sake or yours. Good luck❤️

    • Dianalloyd

      Hi Helena,
      I am disgruntled with what I’m going through. I am a Kenyan and had a guy whom we dated for 5 good years.Since he works in the United States and I work in Kenya, I found myself falling in for a guy to pass time and unfortunately,he learnt about it which really broke his heart and asked me to give him some time but when I asked for how long?, he never says anything.Right now,he came for a one month holiday but he didn’t notify me.I have a married close friend plus her husband whom I happen to introduce to my guy when things were fine and since he came for holidays, they keep going for outings together and my friend and the husband keep telling me about him not having any other woman but told them that he had a meeting with his friends and brothers and they were not happy about everything and he decides to call off everything but he has never told me.
      I tried asking for forgiveness several times but he doesn’t want to talk to me.
      Just here confused and stressed but still love him much. Please advise.

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