desire
Here’s a short excerpt from my eBook, Attract The Man You Want.”

Many women have this perception that what men really want is a woman who’s giving and nurturing, and who takes care of his every need. 

The truth is, men are “production junkies.” They feel good when their producing energy is being thoroughly used up – for men, this is insatiable.

Most women aren’t aware of this because for us, we usually have a “cap” on what we want to produce in a certain amount of time, and then we want to take a break to recharge so we don’t burn out. It’s not the same for men.

What masculine energy men really want is to make YOU happy – and they LOVE playing the role of provider and producer, even in small ways.

Men are addicted to “fixing” things and solving problems. Their biggest desire is to be with a woman who allows him to do things for her – a woman who’s able to RECEIVE what he has to give!

We need to be aware that men really shine in that role of provider and producer – and make sure that we’re allowing them to fully embrace that role and be that kind of man for us. 

You don’t want to be ripping men off of their favorite role! When you start to take over some of this role, you actually end up pushing men away on a very deep, unconscious level.

The reason why so many women feel so burnt out is because they’re doing and doing and doing – they’re going against what’s most natural to them, which is receiving. Production is the opposite of receiving.

Many women take on a lot of the masculine “doing” energy in the relationship – and then build up resentment around that without even realizing it.

If you’re overfunctioning or “doing” more than what feels good to you, men often won’t know. Since men do what they want to do ALL the time, they assume that we do as well! They believe that if you’re doing something, it’s because you want to do it.

So many women are afraid to let go of “doing” and ask for help. A common belief is that if we allow someone else to do something for us, they’re going to think we’re weak or have some sort of judgment about it.

Another important thing to remember is…

Acknowledgment and appreciation are the “fuel” that men run on. Men want to know that what they do makes you happy!

If you let a man know what feels good to you through appreciation, the right man for you will be more than happy to keep doing it! 

Men are always wondering how they can make women happy – and even the most masculine-energy men need a little guidance with that at times (I’ll show you exactly how to do this in a way that brings him CLOSER in a later chapter). 

This is NOT about changing who a man is, or molding him into some sort of robot who’s only there to serve you. Nagging or controlling are obviously BIG turn-offs to men. It’s about letting a man know all the things he does that make you happy through appreciation and acknowledgment of him. 

Men CAN’T fall in love when we’re giving to them – they fall in love when they’re giving to US.

When you demonstrate that you can receive from a man and allow him to play his favorite role of provider and producer, that’s when a man feels the most connected to you and can REALLY fall in love.  

You’ll be the most attractive woman in the world to a man if you allow him to give to you and play that role. Men will flock to you when you learn how to do this – try it and you’ll see!

If you’re ready to build the kind of deep attraction with a man that inspires his love, devotion and life-long commitment – click here to learn more about my eBook, Attract The Man You Want.”


    7 replies to "What Men REALLY Want"

    • Amber

      Thank you for this reminder! I used to have such a hard time receiving what my man wanted to give me. I’m convinced this was what fueled our most serious break up! Now I can smile and say ‘yes, please,’ when he offers to do something for me. Even if it’s something I can do for myself (and possibly do better!) I’ve finally found a place inside me that can shelve MY EGO and ALLOW myself to receive his love. I am not living with my man, but twice a week (at least) he cooks for me. He serves my dinner to me, with a glass of my favorite wine. He clears the table and washes the dishes. What, you may be asking yourself, am I expected to do in return? I finally figured it out, with Rori and Helena’s help.
      I am expected to BE PRESENT and APPRECIATIVE. That is all he wants. I smile, I say ‘thank you,’ I talk with him while he’s preparing the food (unless he sends me out of the kitchen to take a hot bath or relax in front of the TV)
      Last night he told me, “I don’t know what’s changed. Our relationship has just evolved into something I can’t get enough of.”
      I just smiled. I know what’s changed, it’s my attitude toward myself 🙂

      • Helena Hart

        Amber – That’s AMAZING!! It’s so true, being present with your man and showing appreciation is all the giving back you need to do. It’s such an attractive and rare thing for a woman to be able to do those two things instead of overfunctioning and giving to HIM (which ends up blocking his love and pushing him away) – it’s no wonder he can’t get enough of you now!
        Love, Helena

    • Julia

      I love this, Helena! Words to live by!!! Now that I’ve been actively practicing these things, I can really confirm that it works! No, it doesn’t feel effortless to me (YET!), it doesn’t feel “natural” (because I’ve been stuck in the reverse pattern for so long)…. and still, it WORKS, and that’s what matters the most. Receiving, leaning back, showing respect and gratefulness and appreciation… this can awaken the Man in any guy!
      And it doesn’t have to be big and important things. I just remembered what happened on a recent date I went on. We were walking in a park, and I had a small water bottle. My date offered to carry it for me, and I managed to not jump to my instinctive answer (which would have been something along the lines of “don’t be silly, it’s just a water bottle, it’s super light, I can totally carry it mysel!”), and instead just smiled and thanked him. He took VISIBLE pride in carrying that small water bottle for me, and when I playfully appreciated him for being such a gentleman, he said, in a serious tone: “Well, yes. I am, if I have someone to be a gentleman with.” In the light of this article, his words ring SO true!
      So thanks for the reminder, Helena, and thank you for showing us the path!

      • Helena Hart

        Hi Julia,
        This is AWESOME and exactly how it works!! I’m so glad you’re experiencing how quickly these tools can work in your love life. I promise once you get them “down” with practice it will get much easier and start to feel more natural!
        Love, Helena

    • Lily

      What does it mean if the guy actually resents YOU not giving to HIM? This was the issue in my last relationship. He liked leading and winning me, he was very masculine in his pursuit , BUT once we were in a relationship he pulled and pulled for me to take care of him. Mothering, and giving…it was so hard for me not to revert back to boy energy but i hung in there until he broke up with me saying i needed a guy who could be there more for me. I am so sad and confused bc all i read here, and on other blogs is how much men want to step up and care of us. To be honest, i felt a hint that he really wanted me to take care of him all along. Are there some men out there looking for this? Or is it always the woman who is creating the dynamic?

      • Helena Hart

        Hi Lily,
        This is a classic sign that he was not the right man for you. The important thing here is to not beat yourself up, because you didn’t do anything wrong! This man was just not the right match for you. The RIGHT man for you will want to stay in the masculine role while continuing to build intimacy with you as the relationship escalates and deepens (even after he “has” you!).
        Love, Helena

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