Here’s a letter from Julie, who’s in a position we’ve all been in – wanting more from a man than he’s willing or able to give.
I’ve been dating this guy on and off for about a year. After watching Rori Raye’s programs and reading your blog, I see that I’ve made it almost impossible for him to fall in love with me. I’ve given SO much to him and gotten so little in return. He’s pulled away a lot, when I do see him he seems more distant and is not very affectionate. I get the feeling that he’s dating other women, even though I haven’t dated anyone else since I’ve met him. I’m feeling desperate and unhappy. I want to be with him, but I don’t know what he’s thinking. Is there a way to ask him without sounding needy??
Julie – we’ve all been in a position where we feel attached to a man who isn’t giving us everything we want, so we feel like we’re “begging for crumbs” from him.
In a situation like this, the question to ask is NOT “What is he thinking?”
The questions is “WHY ARE YOU HERE?”
Why do you feel you only deserve crumbs? Who told you that?
That’s your past – somewhere in your past you got the message, “Julie only deserves crumbs, she only deserves to beg.”
Right now, this is about YOU telling yourself that you only deserve crumbs.
You’re going to have to alchemize that – add in something else which is going to change your perception and make everything start to organically shift in the right direction.
You need to start telling yourself, “I’m an amazing woman, and any man would be lucky to have me. I deserve more than crumbs!”
Dating a man exclusively who is not giving you all the love, attention, affection and commitment you want is NOT an option for you anymore!
You CANNOT invest 100% in this man because you’re in a situation where you feel desperate and unhappy.
That’s your clue – “Why am I here? I’m here because something in me tells me I’m supposed to be desperate and unhappy.”
I want you to find that part of you – where’s that message coming from?
The danger of only accepting crumbs from a man is that after awhile, you start to believe that’s all you deserve.
Circular Dating is about finding a man who’s NOT a crumb, and who gives you the whole 5-course meal!
This is going to terrify you. You’re going to have to start learning how to receive a man’s affection and love. No more crumbs!
Once you start developing more self-esteem and asking yourself the question “Why am I here?” – you’ll be taking care of yourself in a way that will attract more masculine-energy men who want to take care of you and make you happy!