Do you remember what it was like to first fall in love?
Relationship expert James Bauer suggests that this wonderful feeling doesn’t have to stop. This is a great read, so please enjoy!
Be The Light Of His Life
When a man first falls in love with you, he feels happy. His happiness flows naturally from expectations of something wonderful in his future. He feels more connected with the world, even when you’re not around.
His mind is compartmentalized – so he sometimes gets so engrossed in his work that he’s literally surprised by the joyful emotions that erupt for a few seconds each time something reminds him of you during the course of his day.
If he continues down this road, the euphoria of love makes him start to adore everything about you. Everything about you starts to seem perfect and magical. He begins to fantasize about kissing you before his boss snaps him out of it in the middle of a meeting.
This all sounds pretty close to what you’d expect so far, right? Well, what happens next may seem a little odd. All those positive feelings build into a desire to become your lover. What that means to a man is very different than what it means to a woman.
In his quest to become your lover, a man’s feelings will shift toward a desire to impress you. That sounds nice, right? Well, it can be nice, or not – depending on how you RESPOND to him.
Men have a soft spot underneath the hard emotional exterior. We may act tough, stubborn, angry, or macho on the outside – but all of that is really serving a softer emotional need. Men can’t thrive in a deep passionate type of relationship unless they feel they have a woman’s admiration and respect.
Even if your man knows you like him, if he feels you don’t really ADMIRE him – his “in love” feelings will quickly fade and often extinguish completely like the wick of a candle that’s been snuffed out.
If you “snuff out the fire from the wick of a candle” – it’s out. You can warm up to him all you want, but he’ll feel cold and only respond by blowing little wisps of smoke into your face from the extinguished flame. Many women have felt this – and some women have been through it more than once in a relationship.
Men desire admiration in a way that women would find hard to believe. Testosterone is, as you know, the male sex hormone. When it’s active, a man feels alive and happy.
Did you know a man’s testosterone is affected by the way people treat him? It’s true! If you put a man in a position where he’s treated like the “low man on the totem pole” – his testosterone levels will drop.
After a group of men are thrown together, there’s a sorting-out period when a “pecking order” is established. If you watched a video of interactions among men after about five days, you’d be able to tell who was more of the alpha-male at the top end, and who was lower in the “pecking order.”
If you measured each person’s testosterone before and after grouping them together, those at the top would experience an increase in testosterone and those at the bottom would experience a drop.
Why does this matter? Because men will lose interest in anyone that accidentally tromps on their ego. There are all kinds of ways this can happen without you meaning to do it! The feeling can come from something as simple as the tone of voice you use when offering a compliment.
Does your man dream about you in his future? Are you the light of his life? If not, the Respect Principle may have something to do with it. Click here to check out the free presentation I put together to explain this vital relationship principle.
It could make all the difference in the relationship you share with your man!
Wishing you the best in life and love,