In the last post, I outlined two thoughts that may be undermining your efforts if you’re fed up with dating and feel like you’re never going to meet the right man for you.
When bad experiences from your past (such as being abandoned, cheated on, or rejected) are giving you evidence that your deepest self-criticisms are true – you’re being driven (consciously or unconsciously) to prove that you’re “right” by attracting men who create NEW experiences that make you feel rejected.
By holding on to these negative beliefs, you’re bringing the feelings from these negative experiences into your CURRENT dating experiences.
The pain associated with being rejected in the past – along with the fear of being rejected in the future – keeps you “shut down” and not fully present.
If this is true for you, your tough “men are guilty until proven innocent” attitude serves to keep love and good men away! I don’t want you to put on a fake smile anymore and date with all that hurt going on under the surface.
You’re already enough exactly as you are – you’re beautiful, you’re lovable, and you’re amazing.
When you realize how incredible and lovable you are at your very core, you’ll never feel rejected again. This is the secret to being un-rejectable!
If you want to stop feeling rejected and discouraged – if you’re tired of dating being something you dread – these three steps will help you start to turn things around:
1. Be 100% free of the decisions you’ve made about yourself from the experiences of your past.
We’ve all had experiences in our life with people who’ve helped define us – and we make decisions about who we are based on these past experiences. We have to let go of the feelings of self-judgment and unworthiness in order to be rejection-proof.
What’s the most negative thing you say to yourself about dating – and what are you affirming about dating and about yourself when you say that? What are you giving evidence to?
How are you judging or rejecting yourself here? If you’re saying to yourself, “I’m not good at dating” or “Men are intimidated by me” – what you’re really wondering is, “What’s wrong with me?” In essence, you’re saying you’re not lovable or worthy of love.
2. You won’t feel rejected when you have your “non-negotiables” totally nailed.
This helps you look at the situation from a more neutral place, such as “Were we a match or not?” – rather than “I need him to like me so I don’t feel rejected!”
You need to know who YOU are and what it is you want. What are the top values you’re looking for in a partner? These should be based on values and character (such as honesty, loyalty, and family) – rather than on characteristics (such as appearance, level of education, or common interests).
This is an energetic shift that puts you in a place of power – which is an incredibly attractive place to be!
3. Set boundaries and express your needs using feminine communication skills.
You get to have needs without being “needy”! This has to do with making requests from your feminine energy. Being feminine has such a huge power attached to it, especially once you learn how to communicate from that place.