One thing that can hold you back in your love life is not knowing what you really want. I hear women say all the time, “I know more about what I DON’T want than what I want.”
What you want actually ISN’T the opposite of what you don’t want. When you only know what you don’t want – you can’t create from that because you’re coming from a place of lack.
It’s important to be intentional with your love life. You have to know what it is you’re looking for in order to create it.
Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s “good” and “bad” – it only knows how much energy and attention you’re giving to something.
Focusing all your energy and attention on what you DON’T want creates a “feedback loop” in your subconscious mind. When you focus on something, you’re feeding it back to yourself and you end up drawing it towards you.
If you’re constantly saying things like, “I don’t want another bad relationship” – by focusing on the negative, you may end up attracting the very thing you’re trying to avoid!
This is why you want to be conscious of what you’re putting out there – and focus on the positive rather than the negative. What you focus on is what you get.
If you’re scared of ending up in another bad relationship – and you’re focusing on something negative from your past because you’re terrified it’s going to happen again, you’ll often end up attracting and creating that.
If you’ve ever known a woman who gets into relationships with the same type of men over and over – whether it’s men who are unfaithful, abusive, or have addiction issues – it really demonstrates how this works.
You can consciously think, “I’m not going get involved with a man who’s unfaithful” – but if you’re subconsciously holding onto negative beliefs such as, “All men cheat” – you’re going to gravitate toward those beliefs and find evidence to confirm them.
We hold all of our beliefs at a very deep level, and most of the time we’re not even aware of them – it’s just programming that came from early in our lives.
We carry these beliefs around with us into our relationships and the way we relate to men. We may think that these beliefs are still relevant, but they’re actually not.
One type of subconscious belief that many people hold is that they’re not lovable – or that “someone like them” can’t find love or be loved for who they are. If this is true for you, you want to work on turning that around by telling yourself a different story – that you ARE lovable exactly as you are!
In the next post, I’m going to share how to focus on what you WANT so that you can start attracting it into your life.