If you’re feeling rejected by the man you want or discouraged about your love life, you can’t THINK your way out of your thoughts and fears. If it were that simple you would have done it already.
If you’re fed up with dating and you feel like you’re never going to meet the right man for you, there are two thoughts that may be running through your mind and undermining your efforts:
1. “The men I attract aren’t the men I’m attracted to – and the men I’m attracted to aren’t stepping up and pursuing me.”
2. “Why am I still single? I’m trying SO hard, and nothing seems to be working.”
When you have this ongoing inner dialogue day in and day out, the landscape of your life is colored by those thoughts – whether you’re aware of it or not.
No matter what you’re experiencing in your love life, if those thoughts are dominating – you’ll feel like you’re MISSING something. You may even start telling yourself, “Maybe I’m just not cut out to be in a successful, fulfilling relationship.”
This can make you feel “empty” – and you may start to view dating as just one more opportunity to feel rejected and unworthy.
When this happens, the experience of dating itself creates an underlying subconscious or conscious belief that dating is just another opportunity for rejection – so of course you’re going to have your guard up! Of course you’re going to want to sabotage things by isolating yourself.
The truth is, nobody can make you feel rejected unless you’ve already rejected YOURSELF.
If you already feel unworthy, when you feel like a man has rejected you – that rejection “hits the spot” where you’ve been rejecting yourself. Most people have “wounds” that they intellectually THINK they’ve overcome, but they actually haven’t.
If this is true for you, that spot is tender – and you’ve likely put an “armor” around your heart. You may be dating with an unconscious message that says, “No one’s going to do to me what’s happened to me in my past. I won’t risk getting hurt ever again.”
Another misunderstanding about rejection is that you may feel like you have no control and no power over the situation. This can lead you down the path of feeling like a dating victim!
You’re not a woman who wants to walk around feeling like a victim – that’s just not you.
When we as humans feel rejected, our mind goes crazy trying to figure it out. We can easily fall into obsessing, self-doubt, replaying “what went wrong” – and all the other things we do to try to cope with rejection.
This isn’t a good use of your time and energy – and it doesn’t do good things to your vibe.
The good news is, when you adjust your mindset around this, there’s a place of being un-rejectable! If you want to stop feeling rejected and discouraged – if you’re tired of dating being something you dread – the three steps I lay out for you in the next post will help you start to turn things around.