punch-159753_640When we’re feeling miserable and we’re feeling like we’ve made a mistake – when things aren’t working out for us and we feel responsible for everything – the first person we want to blame is ourselves.
I often tell people not to beat themselves up, but why is it so important? Here’s why…
In order for a man to feel deeply attracted and compelled to be with you, he needs to feel two things: SAFETY and THRILLS.
Well, you’re ALREADY providing the thrills just by being a woman – really, you are!
But essentially, until you feel safe with YOU – until you feel like your boy energy loves you unconditionally, and feels safe allowing your girl energy to have “free run of the place” and to make decisions in an organic way – a man will never feel safe with you.
So you’ve got to start with YOU.
The second we start blaming ourselvesevery man we see feels like we’re blaming him too!

We have to stop blaming ourselves and beating ourselves up before a man is going to feel safe with us.

Here’s how to start turning this around:

1. Start by “catching” yourself every time you start going down the path of beating yourself up. Notice how often you’re blaming yourself throughout the day – especially when things aren’t going the way you hoped they would.

2. Forgive yourself for even THINKING you could ever do anything wrong.

3. Tell yourself that you haven’t done anything wrong, and that you haven’t made any mistakes – even if you’re having a hard time believing it right now.

4. Slather love all over yourself – whatever that looks like to you. Imagine that love is like lotion and slather it all over your body and face.

If a man is not doing his job in the relationship, rather than battering yourself and racking your brain trying to figure out what you should be doing – STOP yourself before you beat yourself up, and go through these four steps instead.
This will start you down the path of being organically led to make decisions that will serve you better than anything else – you’ll begin to trust yourself.
When you stop beating yourself up, you’ll start organically moving toward the life you want, instead of staying stuck where you are at the moment.


    7 replies to "Stop Beating Yourself Up"

    • Arianna Bermudez

      Thank You for this, Helena! This is such a huge mistake that I make all the time! Thank you for saying something about it!

      • Helena Hart

        You’re so welcome! Everything is a learning experience, and every moment is a new opportunity to start fresh and forgive yourself for even thinking you could ever make a mistake.
        Love, Helena

    • Arpita

      Hi,
      This is a wonderul post and I keep reminding myself this once I go back to that ‘I have made a mistake’ position.
      I loved reading this, Thank You

      • Helena Hart

        I’m so glad it was helpful to you!! It sounds like you’re on the right track!
        Love, Helena

    • Tiffanie

      I was just searching, your post has been worth the search!

    • smile

      You information has been of great help, nice work!

    • […] for where you are in your love life (if you’re familiar with my work at all you know that beating yourself up about anything won’t help you) – it’s about become aware of the patterns so you […]

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