Here’s an inspiring success story from Amber, a member of my Effortlessly Attract Love Program. Her words are so brilliant and insightful – and there’s SO much be learned from what she’s done to turn her relationship around – I wanted to make it a “guest post.” Thank you, Amber!
I just wanted to keep you updated, and brag a little, I’ll admit. How can having my dream relationship be this EASY?? Aren’t relationships supposed to be ‘hard work’? I’ve realized over the last four months that the ‘hard work’ relationship is the one we have with ourselves, not the one we have with a man.
The more I work on myself – really FEELING my feelings, really being HONEST with myself about what is happening in my mind and body – the more my relationship feels like play, like fun. The more I let go of expectations and stop trying to control the outcome, the more success I am having in getting EVERYTHING I want from my man.
My commitment-phobe, disappear for days or weeks at a time, master of handing out crumbs, rubber-band man is now asking me what he can do to keep ME happy. One of my biggest ‘aha’ moments was when I realized that my ‘old’ answer of, “You’re perfect babe. You don’t have to do ANYTHING differently,” was not only a lie, it wasn’t even a lie he WANTED TO HEAR!
I’ve realized that when a real man asks, “What would make you happy?” he’s asking because HE REALLY DOESN’T KNOW! In addition, he’s asking because HE REALLY WANTS TO KNOW! Maybe this would seem too simple to some, and I agree, it’s simple… but I’ve found that at least at first that is FAR from easy.
It is NOT easy to:
– Tell a man what I want without somehow making him feel INADEQUATE
– Stick to my boundaries in the face of AMAZING chemistry
– ALLOW him to do a hundred little things for me that I am perfectly capable of doing myself
– Remember to ALWAYS be appreciative on the outside as well as the inside for those little things
– Let go of the outcome – STOP controlling
– Feel the MOMENTARY hurt caused by his cluelessness and know it is ONLY momentary
– Not BLAME him for my own emotional triggers
Like I said, these are just a few and they have not been easy, but since I’ve been LIVING these programs EVERYTHING in my relationship has turned around. When I started, this man was the biggest love of my life, and he was my EX. We were barely on speaking terms.
Four and a half months later he has:
– Dropped the ‘other woman’ he’d started dating when we broke up
– Agreed to all of MY requirements for exclusivity
– Started talking about our future together
– Rarely goes more than a day without getting in touch with me (he used to disappear for 4, 5, 6 or more days at a time)
A few nights ago he said to me – after cooking me ham and eggs and toast at 4am – “Thank you for letting me take care of you. Thank you for making me feel like a man when we’re together. It feels great.”
I feel like a new woman… no, I AM a new woman. I am a Siren 99.9% of the time now, and that feels amazing. I finally REALLY believe that if I am always expressing myself from a place of self-truth that I CANNOT say the wrong thing to the right man.
This was a hard concept for me, especially since he’s broken up with me several times in the past. The thing that saved me was his comment when we split, “I just don’t think you’re the whole package.” After starting the program I realized, HE WAS RIGHT. I WASN’T the whole package, then. I was being ‘superficially’ honest with him but NEVER really allowing myself to truly FEEL in his presence.
Actually, I was NEVER truly allowing myself to FEEL… ever. I was ‘stuffing’ my feelings almost all of the time. I allow myself to FEEL all of the time now. Isn’t it interesting how my ‘GOOD’ feelings are BIGGER now and my ‘BAD’ feelings are smaller and less overwhelming? I no longer have to ‘manage’ the ‘bad’ feelings, I simply feel them and let them go. I no longer have to ‘hang on’ to the good feelings… they pretty much just stick around on their own.
So thank you Helena, for helping me to be so successful with Rori Raye’s programs. I appreciate you more than I can express here.