Most women would tell you that if two people are dating and one of them “sees” other people, that’s cheating.
However, most men wouldn’t agree with that definition. This can lead many women down the path of one dead-end relationship after another. Here’s why…
When a woman has that definition of cheating, she often completely gives over her life to a man who isn’t doing the same.
In other words, he’s “won” her and may now either a) lose interest, or b) enjoy all the benefits of a relationship with her but never make a commitment – even though SHE’S made a commitment to HIM in her mind.
If what you ultimately want is to be in a committed relationship, you could lose YEARS of your life this way – by waiting for a man who isn’t waiting for you.
So How SHOULD You Define Cheating?
In my world, “cheating” is a word reserved for two situations.
First, when two people have made a clear and explicit agreement to date only each other and one of them breaks that agreement.
And second, in a marriage when one person gets involved with (meaning they’re sexually or deeply emotionally interested in) another.
Why You Should Keep Dating Other Men Until He’s Ready To Commit
There’s a BIG difference between dating and exclusivity. If you’re a woman who’s seeking a committed relationship or marriage, one of the best things you can do to secure a commitment is to NOT be so easily won!
I’m not suggesting “playing hard to get” – I’m saying look for the man who IS going to commit, and don’t stop looking until you find him!
This not only keeps you from losing years of your life with a man who isn’t going to commit to you, it also makes you EXTREMELY attractive and desirable to men!
How To Get A Man To BEG You For A Commitment
First, you need to communicate what you’re ultimately looking for – not what you’re looking for with this one SPECIFIC man – but what you envision for your life in general. This could be marriage and family, living together, or something else entirely – there are no rules here, you get to create the life you want!
Then, keep dating other men until he explicitly asks you for exclusivity and you agree to it. I’d only agree to exclusivity if what you ultimately want is “on the table” and you’re sure this man really WANTS to commit to you.
I know it’s hard to spend time dating and enjoying other men when all you want is to fall happily into the arms of this one particular man – but until you two agree that you’re each other’s “one and only,” that’s the best path toward the relationship of your dreams.
→ Click Here To Find Out How To Make Him Powerfully Addicted (In A Really Good Way!) To You
If you’re sick of “bad boys,” “players,” and men who just won’t commit, you need to watch this new video by renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore. It’s called “3 Steps To Make A Man Love You” and it teaches you how to make a man not just fall for you – but to actually make him obsessed with you so HE decides he wants a commitment.
Michael lays out the absolute truth about what men really want and need from a woman for them to be able to give EVERYTHING to her. (In fact, he flat out tells you how his wife captured his heart and made him fall for her HARD, even though he was “playing the field” and thought he’d never settle down!).
Hi Helena! I was re-reading this post (which I really loved, btw!) and it got me thinking… I’m not sure I (and probably some other women) actually know how “a man being committed” actually LOOKS like… Before I attracted the wonderful guy I’m seeing now, I had no idea what “a man pursuing you” looks and feels like—so commitment, too, might be another of those “you’ll know when it happens to you” things… But just in case it’s not that obvious, it would feel really good to read how you’d describe commitment… Both a man’s, and a woman’s?
I was looking over the workbook for Rori Raye’s “Commitment Blueprint” program (didn’t have time to re-listen to all the recordings yet), and I remembered that she defines commitment as the man saying something like “I’m ready and you’re the one I choose”. My guy didn’t say that, but he did tell me WHEN he’ll be ready and that he thinks this could work and wants to give it a try and that he’s waiting for me and not interested in pursuing anyone else… Would that mean he’s committed? Or at least “committed to trying”? Paradoxically, I’m not asking because I feel an urgency for him to commit, I’m actually asking because… sometimes this feels like a bit too much and “too serious”, too soon… like… too MUCH commitment… And it makes me question if I’m committed to him or not… Sometimes it feels confusing… and yes, sometimes I count my blessings and I realize this is mostly a good problem to have… 🙂
What do you think, Helena? How does commitment actually look like?
Julia – fantastic question!! This is all about what you’re looking for and what level of commitment feels best to YOU. If you’ve been dating him for at least a few months and he’s making you happy and demonstrating that he’s moving the relationship forward in a way that feels good to you, you can try being exclusive with him (if he asks you for that) and see how that feels. If you start to feel anxious or he stops moving the relationship forward, you can always take a step back.
This is about TRUSTING yourself and your intuition, and ALLOWING the relationship to unfold – rather than using your masculine energy to try to “make something happen” with a man. Trusting and allowing, as you know, are two very powerful feminine-energy qualities. Hope that helps! 🙂
Love, Helena