If Men Keep Disappointing You, Here’s How To Turn It Around…

If Men Keep Disappointing You, Here’s How To Turn It Around…


love-toolsI’ve been hearing from a lot of women lately who are feeling frustrated and discouraged because they keep attracting men who disappoint them in some way.

The first step to turning this around is awareness – you can’t begin to change anything until you become aware of what’s going on.

To start turning this around, I want you to take a look at your OWN masculine energy – the part of yourself that’s about doing, thinking, planning, and making decisions – and see how it’s operating in your own life.

Something that spiritual teachers have been teaching for centuries is that there is no one separate from you. There’s just YOU showing up in different ways out there in the world.

The men you meet and attract when you’re dating are like a mirror image of your OWN masculine energy that’s running your life.

This is something I first learned from my BRILLIANT mentor Rori Raye, and I’m going to expand on this concept here and give you some clear examples so you can start turning this around.

Whatever is going on in your own masculine energy inside of you – that’s what’s showing up in the men you’re meeting and attracting!

For example, if you’re critical of yourself, you’re going to attract – and be attracted TO – men who will criticize you or make you feel like you’re not quite good enough.

If your masculine energy is not taking care of your feminine energy – the part of yourself that’s about feeling, experiencing, receiving, and expressing – you’ll continually attract men who disappoint you. That’s all you’re going to see and experience out there in the world.

So I want you to ask yourself – what is your own masculine energy doing or NOT doing in your life that’s showing up in the men you’re attracting? 

If you keep attracting men who abandon you, where are you abandoning YOURSELF?

If the men you attract make you feel like you’re not good enough somehow, what parts of yourself are YOU not loving and accepting?

If you attract men who don’t want to commit, where are you not committing to yourself and your OWN life?

If the men you attract don’t make you a priority in their life, where are you not prioritizing YOURSELF?

Take a look at how this is going on inside of you, and see where you can start making some connections.

This is NOT about blaming yourself for where you are in your love life (if you’re familiar with my work at all you know that beating yourself up about anything won’t help you) – it’s about becoming aware of the patterns so you can turn things around quickly!

In order to start attracting the kind of man who treats you well, wants to commit to you, and makes you a priority in his life, you need to be treating YOURSELF with all the love, care, and respect you’re looking for in a relationship.

I’d love to hear about your thoughts and experiences with this!

If you’re ready to stop attracting the wrong men (so you can attract the RIGHT one!), click here to listen to a free training I hosted on this topic.

14 thoughts on “If Men Keep Disappointing You, Here’s How To Turn It Around…”

  1. Brilliant as always, Helena!!! <3
    On a similar note, I noticed that this very dynamics continues to happen in relationships as well – even in a generally happy and fulfilling relationship like the one I attracted with your help. A few months ago, there were a couple of weeks when I didn't feel the same care and energy and interest coming from my man – and then I realized, I had let myself go and wasn't taking care of ME properly! Once I saw this and filled my days with activities that brought me joy, my guy's energy returned towards me. Magic! <3

    1. I love what you said here, Julia! It’s definitely true across the board, and you can see how this dynamic continues throughout the entire relationship. Thanks for sharing your experience with this!!
      Love, Helena

  2. I always have found men that disappoint me and always let me down. But thanks to your advice I’m jot anymore thank you

  3. Oh my gosh.. I LOVE this.. EXACTLY..it makes sense whenever the man leaves a woman, her response, when healed, is ‘I learned how to love MYSELF!’ The secret is doing the inner detective work on where we are ‘lacking’ in those areas, especially when the thought is there IS self-love… Definitely something to think about. Thank you so much

  4. I have a question for you Helena 🙂 will it work when I change myself and then my relationship will change or I should maybe find a new love?

  5. Denise Mulholland

    Hi Helena my name is Denise I’m 41years old I’ve been in a relationship with my partner since 2017 and we have a baby boy who is now 5 months old I would like my relationship to work with my partner again we broke up and separated from each other through problems. Helena would it be possible I could make it back together with him and our baby boy.

  6. i need advice, i started with this guy as FWB sept last year,april dis year he gave me the keys to his house all this happenx while he says he has a girl in nigerian he wants to marry.May i started falling in love with him.ave been single for 3yrs before meeting this my FWb so i was scared of gettx hurt i hide my feelings but yesterday i decided to open up and tell him i wanted something serious and i will wish we both try it together but ifs not the case i wll find someone oneelse to build this feelings with.he told me he doesnt want anythin serious and will love us to stay the way we are.i told him i cant so he should take back the keys to his house so we both move on.he told me to keep the keys that he didnt ask me to give him back the keys and that why do i keep talking about the keys.please i need help am in love with this guy and he is a great guy with a good heart .in this situation what do i do plaese?

    1. Listen to a man when he says he doesn’t want anything serious with you beginning.. Never start as a FWB or casual. Start with great boundaries and what you want in a relationship before you get intimate. Of course he wants to stay with the way things are as it suits him.
      Look elsewhere for a relationship or this man will only break your heart.

  7. You are right on the money with this. It may not be easy to look at ourselves and ask the tough questions.., but well worth the time it takes! I’m here to do the work!!!

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