One of the first things many of my clients usually ask me is, “How can I stop beating myself up and blaming myself for all of my failures in life and relationships?”
If deep down you believe there’s something wrong with you and you’re going to mess everything up in your life, you’ll often end up making that come true.
You don’t need to be hard on yourself in order to achieve everything you want! Here are some steps to stop being so hard on yourself and start turning this around:
First, don’t go looking for what’s “wrong” with you.
Rummaging around looking for what’s wrong with you WON’T help you! The first step to stop being so hard on yourself is understanding that there’s nothing wrong with you.
Instead of worrying about whether you’re “good enough” or if someone else is going to like you, you want to believe that you’re ALREADY worthy of everything you desire.
Assuming there’s something wrong with you often MAKES something wrong with you in your mind – it becomes a new focus. Making decisions based on what’s “wrong” with you will often create the circumstances that match that.
Instead of looking for what’s wrong with you, look for what’s RIGHT – focus on what’s serving you and making you happy.
If this is difficult for you (as it is for most people), take a look the belief that says, “I’m doing it all wrong” or “I’m not doing enough.”
If you really take a look at that voice inside of you that’s beating you up, it might not even be YOUR voice. That voice might be one of your parents’ voices, or someone in your life who’s had a great deal of influence on you.
As children, in order to feel loved, we often take on the role of the critical parent. We can take on their voice and basically do the job FOR them.
We can become critical perfectionists and drive ourselves crazy this way as adults.
This can lead us to becoming out of rapport with ourselves.
Being in rapport with yourself is SO important. You want show up as your true, authentic self 100% of the time – so you don’t feel like you have to change yourself in order to “earn” whatever it is you want.
When you “step into yourself” and your own power, all of the masks, insecurities, and critical voices begin to disappear and you begin to feel more like YOU. This is what helps you to be more accepting of yourself.
Click here to read Part 2 of this post, where I explain exactly how to do this.
