What a man wants is to be completely accepted for who he is – not for who’s he’s pretending to be – but who he REALLY is.
He wants to be loved and accepted for his real self – his anger, his weaknesses, all of it – the person his mother and teachers told him he was.
He wants you to GET that he has weaknesses – and for you to love him anyway.
He doesn’t want you to say, “You don’t have any weaknesses! You’re not that kind of guy!” Because he believes he IS that kind of guy! He believes all kinds of things about himself that make him feel unworthy.
He wants to know that you KNOW he has weaknesses, and that you love and accept him for exactly who he is.
Where does this acceptance start? It starts with YOU!
A man won’t believe that you accept him until he believes that you accept YOU.
You could try from morning until night to convince him that you love and accept him – but you’ll never connect to him and he’ll never believe you if you don’t love and accept yourself!
We tend to think that men are clueless – but they can actually tell whether or not we love ourselves. Men are extremely sensitive and pick up on all kinds of things in our vibe.
If you were to catch yourself beating yourself up and then say, “Wow, I just caught myself beating myself up! I need to love myself and have compassion for myself” – and say that in his presence, he would feel incredibly connected to you!
To see you turn from beating yourself up to loving yourself would turn him on to you completely!
That would make him believe you – because all he sees in our love without deep connection is need and urgency – and he doesn’t get it!
Deep down he’s worried that he can’t make you happy – that he’s constantly disappointing you, that he’s no good for you – which makes him feel angry and act worse.
Men have so much anger around feeling inadequate and ineffectual – especially with the economy the way it is now – they feel like they can’t act like men or feel like men.
What men need is to be able to feel MASCULINE in the relationship.
If you can give a man the belief that he fulfills your needs in a romantic, masculine way – and really trust him to fulfill you in an emotional sense – he’ll turn into a knight in shining armor, because that’s what he wants to be!