The way to create safety with a man so that he can connect with you is by loving and accepting him for exactly who he is.
The only way to do that is to first love and accept YOURSELF unconditionally.
This involves you forgiving yourself totally.
Most of us are so busy beating ourselves up all the time that forgiving ourselves never even crosses our mind.
Start by forgiving yourself for even THINKING that you could ever do anything wrong.
Say to yourself, “I didn’t do anything wrong. Everything that’s happened was all perfect in the scheme of the universe. Things are unfolding the way they’re supposed to.”
Forgive yourself for thinking you could ever make a mistake.
Forgive yourself for even having the thought of beating yourself up.
Do this constantly – and write it down if you need to.
Having loving compassion for yourself in this moment means that whatever happened, whatever happens in the future, whatever you’re thinking about yourself or anyone else, whatever you do – it’s all irrelevant.
Even your man is irrelevant. For right now, we’re taking him out of the picture.
We’re completely focusing on your inner world now, because what you want to do is shift your vibe – that’s why you’re here – and it’s not an “outer” thing.
Rori Raye calls this “Radical Accepting.”
When you completely forgive and accept yourself – this is what allows a man to believe that you’re going to accept him.
What might come up for you when you do this is grief – if you’ve lost a man, or if you’ve lost something like you’re health – there’s grief that you go through.
You may experience some of the the classic stages of grief – denial and anger and depression – YET, nobody says how long this needs to take!
It doesn’t have to take years – everything can change in a moment.
Alchemy can happen in a moment – once you add in a new “ingredient” like forgiving yourself – everything can start to shift in a new direction.
You don’t have to “get over” the last man who broke your heart before you can forgive yourself and put yourself out there again.
All you need to remember is that everything starts with you forgiving, accepting, and loving yourself no matter what happens.
People talk about “healing your heart” all the time.
What if you just forgive yourself for even thinking something was broken?
What if you just assume that “mistakes” are part of the process – AND part of the plan?
When you start organically feeling your way through these things – your vibe will shift and your man will start to feel a sense of safety with you – which will completely draw him in!