How To Trigger His Desire To Commit To You Forever

When we find ourselves feeling anxious about where we stand with a man or where the relationship is going, it’s normal to start to worry that if we don’t show him how interested we are, he’ll think we don’t care or he’ll lose interest and drift away.

We automatically begin trying to let him know how much we care – and often the things we instinctively do unknowingly turn a man OFF!

We want to make sure he knows how we feel. We feel this intense urge to DO things for him to show him how much he means to us.

We take on the masculine role as the “pursuer” without even realizing it – and this automatically forces him into the “distance-er” role.

To a man, when we begin initiating everything in an attempt to keep the relationship going (or keep it together), it feels like PRESSURE to him.

It weakens his desire to get closer – and he often has NO IDEA why. He probably can’t put his finger on it, but he just isn’t feeling it the way he used to.

He may stop calling or making plans with you – or even start saying he’s “confused” or doesn’t know if he can give you what you want.

If communication is the key to intimacy, how could talking about the relationship push a man away?

It’s the way we instinctively go about it when we’re coming from a place of anxiety, insecurity or “lack” that makes him automatically lose attraction.

As women, when we talk things through, it helps us feel more connected and closer. But to a man, it feels like pressure and it feels like we’re CHASING him when we’re coming from a place of trying to “make something happen.”

The only thing talking about the relationship makes a man want to do when we’re coming from this place is back up and create space for himself – which often makes US want to move towards him to close the gap, as soon as possible.

Here’s the thing: you don’t need to talk about the relationship as much as you might think. The less you initiate talking about the relationship (including asking him how he feels about you), the better!

When you want to talk about the relationship when you’re coming from a place of “lack” or insecurity, a man will usually shut down and his feelings of attraction will start to fade instantly.

What you want to do instead to trigger a man’s desire to commit to you is focus on creating good feeling experiences with him – moment by moment. This is what creates the kind of heart-to-heart connection that inspires a man’s love, devotion and lifelong commitment.

When you create a deep heart-to-heart connection with a man, he’ll begin to feel SAFE with you and compelled to get closer.

It can be easy to want to keep things “surface level” because we’re afraid we might push a man away if we show him who we really are (and this couldn’t be further from the truth!).

We can also sometimes ignore our own feelings and needs and instead focus on a man and how HE feels, which leads to talking about the relationship rather than creating it.

One way to create this deep heart-to-heart connection is to make sure you’re in your feminine energy and feeling safe within YOURSELF – which is the only way a man can feel safe with you.

In order for a man to want to commit himself to a woman, he needs to feel safe and accepted for who he is deep down.

When you learn what makes a man TRULY fall in love and stay in love forever, you’ll find yourself feeling more happy, secure and confident.

You’ll no longer spend your time worrying about how a man feels about you and what he’s thinking.

You’ll feel more cherished and connected to him right away because HE’LL feel compelled to move towards you and close that gap.

If you want to learn how to trigger a man’s desire to commit to you forever, click here to read about the two biggest mistakes women make when it comes to getting the commitment they want.

    10 replies to "How To Trigger His Desire To Commit To You Forever"

    • Rubyanne

      I like this guy hes 77 it’s been 3 yrs now we been friends. We dont live together but we get together for meals an sex. He has hid me away for all those yrs. Cause he said I’m not the one an no one needs to know about us. His family or friends. I’m 54 an I need help. I feel I’m to easy an hes getting bored of me an I think he thinks im to young an to much energy. Hes a player an has any woman he wants wen ever. What do.i do so he will see I’m the one an he will marry me ??? Ruby

    • Kerry Evans

      I think you should start making yourself a bit scarce to this man who is disrespecting you. He insults you but you continue to play along to his tune and this must stop! He says he doesn’t introduce you to friends and family because you’re not the one! How rude and belittling he doesn’t deserve your commitment tbh! Do you really want to marry a man who treats you this way? You need to start thinking more of yourself and less of him for starters and get other interest because all this may stem from loneliness and low self worth!

      • Lorie D.

        Ruby Anne,
        Marriage is not going to keep him from being a player.
        I have learned a man can treat you like a girlfriend and have a sexual relationship with you for years. He continues looking for “that feeling”.
        He feels he gave you a heads up by saying “ you are not the one” so he feels his behavior is not on him. When u distance yourself He may miss you and act jealous but he has shown you that he is not emotionally invested and does not appreciate your worthiness. He is placing no value on your relationship/ friendship because it has become a convientience.
        You both deserve more. He is going to follow your lead. He will respect you how you respect you.

      • Michelle Gale


    • Jackie hageberg

      I too have sadly settled into more of a friend’s with benefits title. Although I’ve fallen in love, he’s never taken me out or introduced me to anyone. I’ve felt like it was because i am white and he’s black butidk. Help….

      • Mei

        Dear Jackie, I am sorry to hear this, but you have to dump his ass. Period. He is not interested to know you, to cherish you, or to commit to building a life with you. It will hurt alot because you have given a part of yourself to this man, but think further ahead, will you be happy? You deserve more than this and you know it. Please take a moment and realise how unique and beautiful you are in your very own way. When you love yourself you will not allow yourself to be treated as less than that an important part of a person’s life.

    • Mariam

      Comment *I feel hurt..To me,I feel this man is just misusing&enjoying ua services which he does not desere at all!How on earth could he make such a comment”You are not the one”!Then why..why should he be hunging around still?Tell him off!You are worth a man..a caring affectionate responsble man who sees,appreciate&values your worth..A man who’ll honour you with marriage&not just to misuse then dumb yu wen he finds his so called”worth”!…I despise him

    • Kandi

      New Guy at work. He seems interested. I try to show interest the best I can But it’s professional duties & behavior that has gotten me this far at work & I don’t want to mess anything up for myself. New younger girl starts at job. She’s Constantly watching his & my apparent vibe. She followed him into the storage area & seems to always go in the area I saw him heading toward. His vibe with me has slowed down & I will not compete at work for his attention. I need ideas & appreciate what I am reading here & your knowledge about men. Thank you

      • Géraldine

        I would say, Kandi, that it is a matter of energy. For the moment the younger girl is “winning ” because she is sure of herself and this is the kind of things a man appreciates. But she’s chasing him too hard and this is not acting like a lady because a man wants to chase. A high value man will not stick to a crush for a masculine-energy girl like she is. I would tell you to stop thinking too much when he is around because then you are no longer yourself ! Be the fantastic woman you are every day at work and do not put too much pressure on yourself : just be! Men like to live at present and they like woman that lives the exact present moment : this is how they create connexion with us! Not with mindplans that lead to knowhere near happiness and sparkles 🙂
        Treat yourself with self-confidence, be polite to everyone and he will notice it himself. Let him see you being an alive natural woman

    • Carolyn

      Helena I can’t thank you enough for this article!!!
      It has pulled everything together for me so beautifully.
      I’m really loving how you tie things in to the Law of Attraction and energies, it all makes SO much sense to me now!! Your choice of collaborators is just perfect as well and I find myself looking forward to each new post, video and livecast.
      A million thanks to you ?

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