Here’s a question from Suzanne about how to meet more high quality men.
Hi Helena, I’m not having any luck with meeting good men right now. I live in New York City and it seems like all the men I meet here aren’t my type. I’m not sure if I’m looking in the wrong places or looking for the wrong things. How can I start meeting more high quality men? – Suzanne
Suzanne – in my experience and in the experiences of my clients, having a particular “type” when it comes to meeting men and dating may actually be what’s working against you.
If you’re finding yourself in a place where you’re starting to think that “there are no good men out there” – I want you to take a look at which part of you is choosing potential dates and relationship partners.
You may be choosing potential partners with your masculine energy, rather than with your feminine energy.
You may be attracting – and attracted to – the wrong kind of men for you. The truth is, there are actually LOTS of amazing men out there – you just might not be seeing them if you’re only looking at them with your masculine energy.
You might be looking at a man “on paper” and deciding he’s what you want – because he looks good physically, he’s financially well-off, or he carries himself a certain way – and your masculine energy is making that choice for you. I did this for YEARS and it never worked out or ended well for me.
The problem is, that choice can’t be made with your masculine energy – that choice has to be made with your feminine energy!
That choice has to be made from intuition. It has to be made from how it FEELS to be with a man – how relaxed you are around him and how you feel about YOURSELF in his presence – rather than how you feel about HIM.
When you’re not attracted to very many men or you have a certain “type” – the external qualities your masculine energy is looking for in men can end up creating a feeling of LONGING in you. What you want instead is to find someone with the internal qualities that create LOVING.
The great thing about New York is that there’s SO much going on at all hours of the day and night. You can walk outside and all of the sudden you’re surrounded by people! To start meeting more men, get yourself outside. Do your work in coffee shops. Go for walks at lunchtime. Take classes – cooking, dancing, acting, yoga, art – whatever you’re into, and try some new things too!
Get yourself on every online dating site you can. If you can afford it, try a matchmaking service. Go to happy hour after work with a girlfriend. Look for lectures and events in local newspapers. Try volunteering or going to different churches. Visit museums and art exhibits. Go wine tasting.
Once you start choosing your potential dates and relationship partners with your feminine energy – you’ll start to notice just how many high quality men are out there – men who want to be with you!
Start living your life in public and going places that interest you where there will be men. If you like to read, check out some libraries and book stores. If you’re into computers, visit the Apple store. If you’re a dog lover, go to a dog park. If you like to cook, go shopping at a farmers market.
Join meetup groups. Say yes to every party you’re invited to. Make eye contact and smile at everyone who crosses your path.
See what happens when you allow your feminine energy to start doing the choosing – and see if what a man feels for YOU starts to turn you on!