In the last post, I answered a question from Judy, who’s found that she’s attracting and attracted to unavailable men. You can read the entire question and my answer here.
In this post, I want to take it further by looking at what’s going on emotionally, because that’s the key.
Judy – when you look at the relationship with your absent father, or with these men who are unavailable, what’s the primary emotion that comes up for you?
Is it fear, anger, sadness, hurt, shame, or guilt? These are the emotions we work so hard to avoid.
Here’s something you can do with these emotions to start turning this around (this works well for ANY strong emotion you’re feeling, regardless of the situation):
1. See if you can identify the primary emotion, and notice where it shows up in your body.
2. Imagine reaching into your body and pulling that emotion out of you.
Hold it out in front of you, and see if it creates an image of some kind. Maybe that image has weight and mass to it, or maybe it’s just a picture. Perhaps there’s energy associated with it.
3. Notice how you feel about that image.
What does it look like? What’s it doing? What color and temperature is it?
4. Now imagine floating out of your body and INTO that image, so that you can see yourself from that image’s perspective.
How does that emotion see you? Does it see you as you are now, or does it see you as a lost or scared little girl?
Does it have a voice? Is it saying anything to you?
5. Ask this image, “Why are you here? What’s your purpose?”
Listen for the answer. It may say something like, “I’m here to help you” or “I’m here to protect you and keep you safe.”
6. Float out of that image and back into your body, and take a look at it now.
Now that you know why it’s here and what it thinks of you, ask yourself if you want to keep this emotion, or if you want to release it for good.
If you want to release yourself from this image, story, or emotion, what do you need in order to do that?
7. If you decide to release it, imagine that at the top of your head there’s a brilliant white light emanating peace, love, and joy.
Bring that white light into your head and into that empty space where that old emotion used to be. Feel that white light and the peace, love, and joy replacing that old image and filling up your entire body. Does that feel any different to you?
We’re all programmed a certain way to attract and be attracted to a certain kind of person – so the level at which you’re operating will change the level at which you’re attracting.
The good news is, the level at which you’re operating and valuating yourself can change!
The key to overcoming this is deciding that you’re WORTH loving – and learning to get that love from YOURSELF, instead of chasing down love outside of yourself by trying to “win” or “earn” love from these unavailable men.
Your mentality shouldn’t be, “Can I settle for this? What if this is the best I can do?” – and making decisions from a place of LACK. You want to be making decisions from a place of ABUNDANCE.
When you start believing and acting as if you deserve the total package, you’ll start attracting the total package!
When you behave in a way that’s congruent with the belief that you’re worth loving and you DESERVE all the love you desire – you’ll instinctively start saying “no” to anyone or anything that doesn’t measure up. That’s what puts you on the path to the life you want.
Love, Helena
