The belief of scarcity in dating is the belief that there aren’t any good men out there, or that all the good men are taken.
I’ve heard women say that for whatever reason, there aren’t any men out there for THEM – perhaps they’re older, they have children, they live in a small town, or they don’t have time to go out.
The truth is, NO situation justifies the belief that there are no available men out there. All you have to do is browse the online dating sites to realize the abundance of single men out there. The constraints of geography don’t apply anymore – even if you live in a remote area, you can still find men to date online.
The world has gotten smaller and smaller. Our grandparents never had the kind of choice we do with respect to potential partners – they were limited to the people they met at church, school, or in their community. Women today are the luckiest women in history when it comes to having the freedom to select a partner.
Yet it seems that in the midst of all this choice, many women feel paralyzed. Some women have become so picky that none of the men out there seem good enough.
If you’re anything like I was, you may have created exhaustive lists of specifications or requirements in order for a man to “qualify”: he has to look a certain way, make a certain amount of money, have a certain kind of education and family background, enjoy specific hobbies, or have certain goals.
Instead of seeing the abundance of men around you, are you picking apart the flaws of every man you meet?
If you want to start attracting more high quality men, you have to begin by choosing potential partners with your FEMININE energy, rather than with your masculine energy. This involves throwing out your old list of requirements and using the following criteria to qualify men instead:
1. They’re available and are “good” men (they don’t have a drug or alcohol dependency, they aren’t abusive or known “players”, etc.).
2. Their energy is coming TOWARDS you.
3. You feel good about YOURSELF in their presence.
Most women will find that once they’ve eliminated everyone who doesn’t fit into the above categories, they’re left with a lot of men who are really nice (who probably even have a secret crush on them), but who have previously gotten left out of consideration because they’re “boring”, not good looking enough, or don’t have a high-status job.
You may not feel any superficial “chemistry” with these men, but the fact is, they’re THERE. They belong to the vast number of single, available men who are also searching for love.
So the next time you find yourself feeling discouraged about the perceived lack of available men – remember that the problem is NOT that good men are scarce. The problem may be that your image of your perfect match may be too specific!
It may be that you’re looking for such a specific kind of man that you’re blinding yourself to other possibilities (and the perfect man for YOU). I’m not saying that you should date men that you have absolutely no interest in – but as far as you feel able, give the nice guys a chance. Be warm, open, and receptive to everyone you meet.
You may find that your “type” may have been exactly what was working against you – and the BEST kind of man for you (the type of man who wants to give you all the love, attention, affection, and commitment you want and deserve) doesn’t look anything like you thought he would!