In the last post, I explained the importance of focusing on what you WANT in your love life, rather than what you DON’T want – and taking a look at your subconscious beliefs and fears that may be holding you back.
Some common fears that many people hold in their subconscious are the fear that they’re not good enough, and the fear that they’re going to get hurt again or that things aren’t going to work out because they haven’t worked out in the past.
Looking into the rear view mirror this way brings those bad experiences of your past into the present moment. We as human beings are always in reaction to what’s happened to us in the past, such as the last man who broke your heart.
If you focus on negative experiences from your past because you’re afraid it’s going to happen again – you’ll actually draw those experiences towards you, and create the same patterns over and over.
You may really want something consciously, but if your subconscious mind is scared of it, it will start looking for ways to sabotage things. When your subconscious mind is afraid of what might happen, it will try to find ways to keep you “safe.”
If you have the belief that there’s something wrong with you and you’re afraid someone will “find you out” – or that you always mess up your relationships – you’ll never move out of your comfort zone into the life you want.
We can be our own worst enemies at times – but the good news is, since we’re in the driver’s seat we can change the course any time we choose to!
We’re all human beings having a human experience, and that’s a big part of the challenge. We can go “out of tune” every now and then – and sometimes all we need is a tune up!
We all want to be loved for who we really are, and yet deep down we’re terrified to show up as who we really are. We often want to hide who we are and put our “best foot forward.”
That’s an inefficient system. Our greatest strength is in being our true selves – that’s what draws the right people to us.
What you want to do is create some new associations. Start by creating some new beliefs around the idea that dating is something that allows you to explore yourself and practice opening up and showing who you really are.
What you focus on grows – so when you focus too much on what you DON’T want, that’s what you’re going to attract.
Instead, try getting really clear on what you WANT in your love life. What feelings would you like to feel in your ideal relationship? Most women say that they want to feel cherished, loved, safe, cared for, and understood.
Get in touch with how you’d like to FEEL in your love life – write these feelings down, and start focusing on them. See where you can start feeling those things right now, regardless of your relationship status.
Once you get those feelings into every cell of your body, you’ll start attracting men who really WANT to make you feel that way!