Women ask me all the time, “How do I make sure my needs get met in my relationship without being pushy or demanding?”
This has to do with making requests from your feminine energy. Being feminine has such a huge power attached to it, especially once you learn how to communicate from that place.
Everyone has the dynamics of masculine and feminine energy inside of them – and we draw upon those different energies in different areas of our lives.
Masculine energy is all about doing, planning, thinking, and making decisions. When you’re working, raising children, or tackling that “to-do” list, you’re in your masculine energy. Giving and nurturing are actually masculine qualities – they’re about DOING.
Feminine energy is receptive. It’s all about being, receiving, experiencing, and expressing.
In order to get your needs met while staying in your feminine energy, it’s all about the way you express those needs.
The template is the same as feeling messages: “I feel __________.”
Fill in the blank with an emotion – don’t say, “I feel that you should __________.” Try to not even use the word “you” here. Keep in mind that men don’t like to be told what to do or what they “should” be doing.
This works best when it’s a POSITIVE emotion. An example would be, “I feel cherished when my car door is opened for me” – rather than, “I feel uncared for when you don’t open my car door.”
This isn’t about manipulating a man into doing whatever you want – it’s about expressing your needs around things that TRULY matter to you.
When a man does what you’ve requested, you want to show appreciation.
You don’t have to reciprocate by giving HIM something – because what he really wants is appreciation and acknowledgment for what he’s done and who he is. This is the fuel that’s going to drive him in the relationship.
Remember, it’s not about him and what he’s doing or not doing – it’s about YOU and what makes you feel good.
Once you make your request in this way, you want to lean back and watch what he does.
Does he step up or not? Does he take your feelings into account, or does he dismiss them?
If a man doesn’t take your feelings into account – or if he doesn’t want you to feel cherished by him – move on! That’s not a good guy to be with.
A good, masculine energy man will want his woman to feel cherished by HIM specifically. This is biological.
If you’re with a good man who wants to make you happy – and you make your request but he doesn’t step up right away, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you.
Sometimes it may take a man a little while to get into the habit of doing something new.
If that’s the case, don’t keep dropping hints – make direct requests while staying in your feminine energy. Generally men are pretty literal and aren’t that inferential – they don’t always “get” your hints.
Don’t make him wrong because he hasn’t been doing something – make it about YOU and what you like, and how it feels when you get it.