In the last post, I revealed some of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to get back together with their ex.
Even if you’ve made any of these mistakes, there IS hope! I’m going to reveal a very simple strategy that will help you stop making these mistakes – and take you in the RIGHT direction to get your ex back:
Stop trying to contact him at all – wait until HE contacts you first!
This is called the No Contact Rule – and it can be extremely effective if you stick to it. Most people in a highly emotional state fail to maintain a consistent level of no contact.
There are a lot of benefits to following the No Contact Rule:
You’re allowing your ex the space and time to get over the pain of the break up.
You’re allowing YOURSELF the space and time to get over the pain of the break up.
You’re preventing yourself from potentially making any more embarrassing mistakes when you’re in an extremely emotional state of mind.
You’re giving him the space and time to actually MISS you.
He’ll be more likely contact you if he feels you may be moving on.
Some of the common worries people have about the No Contact Rule are:
Q: What if my ex forgets about me?
A: He WON’T forget about you. (How quickly can you forget about someone you once loved, and probably still love?)
Q: Wouldn’t this simply help him move on faster?
A: If by move on, you mean healing from the PAIN of the break up, then that’s actually a good thing! If your goal is to get your ex back, you want him to heal from the break up and remember why he fell for you in the first place. Men tend to find it harder than women to move on after a break up anyway, so rest assured this is not a bad thing.
Q: What if he finds someone else?
A: It’s possible, but unlikely. Even if he does, it would be temporary.
Q: What if my ex is stubborn and doesn’t contact me?
A: He will – I almost guarantee it, especially if he really loved you in the relationship. He’ll find an excuse or some reason to contact you, even if it’s not initially a “nice” one.
Q: What if by him thinking I’m moving on, he’ll simply move on as well?
A: Actually, you’ll find that if he believes you’re moving on, he’ll contact you. Even if he calls you just to congratulate you on moving on, he’ll still contact you. That’s what you want.
Hopefully that makes you feel more at ease with starting No Contact. It works just as well in moving on from an ex as it does in in getting an ex back.
If for some reason you CAN’T start No Contact due to your special circumstances, I’d recommend using Limited Contact instead. This means, avoid your ex when you can – but when you can’t, be nice, civil, brief and short. Keep the pain you feel from the break up out of your interactions for now.
In the next post, I’m going to reveal three tips to get your ex back when you’re using the initial No Contact Rule.