It’s not that he’s a bad guy or that he’s being inconsistent with you. It’s just that, for the first time in a long time, you’re EXCITED about a man.
And because this feeling occurs so infrequently, it’s really got you in a tailspin.
Even though you like your new guy as much as anyone in recent memory – even though things have been nothing short of perfect for these first few weeks – you feel a pit of dread in your stomach.
“What’s going to go wrong here?”
“I hope he’s serious about a long-term relationship.”
And, most of all: “I don’t want to waste my time on the wrong man ever again.”
I don’t blame you for a second for feeling all of those things. Naturally, you want to minimize your chances of getting hurt.
But what’s the RESULT of this fearful, walking-on-eggshells mindset?
You start to obsess when he doesn’t call.
You ask your friends what it “means” when he says, “I’ll see you later.”
You tense up. You lose sleep. You become uptight.
You want to be loved SO badly, but you’re SO afraid of getting hurt that you’ve turned yourself into a shell of your best self.
Here are some great questions to ask yourself:
Are you more attractive when you’re confident and carefree, or insecure and uptight?
Are you more attractive when you assume your man adores you, or when you live in fear that he might bail like all the rest?
Are you more attractive when you’re focused on enjoying the present, or obsessing about what might happen in the future?
I think the answer is obvious. The truth is:
Living in the present is the most effective way to make a man fall in love with you.
This is based on the core principle: “Men do what they want to do.”
If they want to call you, they’ll call you.
If they want to introduce you to their family, they’ll introduce you to their family.
Which is why, when you want to know what you should do about the guy who makes you weak in the knees, the answer couldn’t be more simple: NOTHING!
“Doing something” means you’re trying to keep your emotional tether alive – to nudge him into calling you, seeing you, or committing to you.
But the great thing is: The right man for you won’t need to be nudged!
So when it’s been 10 hours and you haven’t gotten a reply to his text, you let it go.
When it’s Thursday night and he hasn’t called to see you on Saturday, you let it go.
You make other plans or take YOURSELF out!
Why? Wouldn’t it make more sense to call him, text him, and see him so he doesn’t lose interest in you? Nope!
“Nudging” a man to take action only lets him know that he’s in control, that you’re desperate and needy, and that you don’t trust that he knows what’s good for him.
The truth is, if you’re the right woman for him, you won’t NEED to nudge him.
Remember what it’s like when a man’s excited about you?
He calls, he follows through, he’s thoughtful, he’s chivalrous, he’s gentlemanly, and he WANTS a commitment with you.
But sometimes it takes a few weeks for men to figure all of that out for themselves.
Remember, men like to “buy.” They don’t want to be “sold.”
Anything you do to amp up the pressure for him to make a decision is just going to drive him away – the exact OPPOSITE reaction you want from your man.
But that leaves you with the same burning question: “Then what should I DO?”
The answer couldn’t be simpler:
Make your PRESENT so amazing that he WANTS to have a future with you.
It’s not about finding out in week 1 whether he wants to live in the city or the country, or hoping he says “I love you” by week 4.
Those are things you’ll deal with later. For now, just have fun! Laugh. Say yes. Smile. Enjoy the moment.
What you want is a man who’s CHOSEN you on his own accord – and who’s emotionally invested in you because he FEELS so happy every time he’s around you.
If he’s receiving texts that say, “Where are you??” or late night calls that plead, “Where is this going?” – you’re not making him feel too good in the present.
So just relax and enjoy the ride.
The RIGHT man steps up to the plate and commits to you. The WRONG man never escalates his efforts and keeps you as an option indefinitely.
Why? Because that’s what he WANTS to do.
In order to get ANY relationship off the ground, you HAVE to put off all fears, all nudging, and all thoughts of your future – and just ENJOY the present.
The right man for you will know what to do next.
I highly recommend that you check out Evan’s amazing eBook, “Why He Disappeared: The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever.”
You’ll be able to distinguish good men from bad men, see what you’ve been doing wrong your entire life, and have all the tools to create the kind of relationship you’ve always dreamed about.