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When you’re with a man, are you looking to him as HOLDING something that you want? Like he’s holding the key to YOUR happiness? 

Next time you’re with a man, really notice – when you look at him, do you really see HIM, or do you only see what you WANT from him?

Notice if you find yourself thinking about how much better your life would be if your love life was “on track.” See if you can catch yourself when you’re looking to a man to make everything – including YOU – feel complete.
There are many reasons why we look to others to fix what’s wrong in our lives. Sometimes the unmet needs from our childhood are so great that we’re constantly looking to someone else to fulfill them.
But these needs often run so deep that another person would not be capable of fulfilling them for us – so we need to learn how to meet those needs for ourselves.
Or, you may be so busy trying to please others all the time that you never learned how to make YOURSELF happy. Sound familiar?
If you’re anything like I was – when you’re with a man, you may find yourself frantically racking your brain and trying everything you can to make him love you and “close the deal” so that your life will finally be “complete.”
It’s this energy that pushes a man away. No matter how hard you try to “play it cool,” men are extremely sensitive to this and will feel it in your vibe.
This needy vibe will either repel him from the beginning, or keep the relationship from moving forward – where the connection just isn’t strong enough to make him fall in love and feel devoted to you forever.
The good news is – creating this kind of attraction is SO much easier than you think! It involves getting out of that mindset where a man holds the key to your happiness – and putting the key in your OWN hands.
It’s about discovering what it is that would make you happy and learning how to meet your own needs. In other words, stop waiting for a man to fulfill your dreams and start making your OWN dreams come true.
Once you do this, the man you’re with now will “snap-to” and see you in a completely new way – or if you’re single, the right kind of men will start showing up!
So how do you do this? If it feels daunting, start with baby steps. Make a list of things that would make you happy. Write down the things you’ve been waiting to do or accomplish until your love life gets “on track.” Write out a plan to start making these dreams come true for yourself right now. 
Waiting for your love life to improve before accomplishing these goals may actually be what’s holding you back in your relationships. 
Getting your masculine energy in gear this way – rather than using it to make something happen in your relationship – will make all the difference in the world for you.
Once you become the kind of woman who knows how to make herself happy, you will attract the kind of man who wants to make you happy – and who is happiest when he is actively MAKING you happy!


    8 replies to "The Key To Your Happiness In Life And Love"

    • Leigha

      I loved reading this!! This is great…
      So how do you do this? If it feels daunting, start with baby steps. Make a list of things that would make you happy. Write down the things you’ve been waiting to do or accomplish until your love life gets “on track.” Write out a plan to start making these dreams come true for yourself right now. Waiting for your love life to improve before accomplishing these goals may actually be what’s holding you back in your relationships.
      For a long time I was waiting for a man to save me from my life. I was working a job I didn’t like, living in a place I didn’t like and for some reason I believed a man was going to come along and make it all better.
      Things didn’t change for me until I decided one day I had better start planning a future that felt good to me, whether there was a man in my life or not.
      Then he finally showed up!!! 🙂

      • Helena Hart

        Leigha, you’re AMAZING!!! This is exactly how it works. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story!
        Love, Helena

    • Magnolia

      Hi Helena and Leigha,
      This is SO inspiring. I am going to make a list tomorrow and then use my boy energy to take my sweet girl somewhere interesting or atleast somewhere that feels good. I am also making a list of how I take care of myself- when I started I barely wrote three things. Ouch! That tells me that things I do to take care of myself and things I do to make myself happy can be two foundational lists 🙂 ! I will start on this NOW and let you know how I feel by the weekend. Oooh- I need to find out how much my boy loves my girl 🙂 I feel all curious about myself now.

      • Helena Hart

        Hi Magnolia,
        YES!!! You’re totally on the right track. I’m very excited for you, please be sure to let me know how it goes!
        Love, Helena

    • carrie

      Great article Helena! I especially love the advice about writing out a plan of what makes you happy… xoxo Carrie

    • Sindy

      Nice work, looking forward to using more of your information!

    • Melody

      I am in a study group dealing with co- dependency and we have all recognized that the big factor we must learn is to take care of OURSELVES! Most of us were not valued as children so we have to literally learn HOW to value and nurture ourselves instead of seeking that in a man or relationship. Having a weekly group helps to not feel alone in learning this… and to be held accountable and to learn ways and ideas from each other. Celebrate Recovery has a study called STEPS which is helpful in healing hurts, hang- ups and bad habits. Thanks so much for your great encouragement to treat ourselves WELL!!!!

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