Here’s a great question from Alyssa about something we ALL feel at times with men – and what to do to turn things around and bring him closer than ever.
The Question:
Hi Helena, even though things are generally going well in my relationship, I still catch myself feeling uneasy, over-thinking things and analyzing his every move at times. Can men really tell when we analyze their words and actions? How can I stop doing this and get back to feeling normal again? – Alyssa
My Answer:
Alyssa – yes, I believe men can tell when we’re too focused on them because it comes out in our vibe. Whether it’s in the tone of our voice or the energy behind how we respond to text messages – men are extremely sensitive to this and pick up on it subconsciously.
Analyzing everything a man says or does (or DOESN’T say or do) is MENTALLY leaning forward – and what you want to do instead is lean back and inspire him to come close to YOU.
That’s what will build a deep attraction with a man – since men value what they have to work for, just like we do!
If you’re having a hard time staying “cool” because you’re over-thinking things or analyzing him, think of what a supremely confident women would do and feel in this situation – the kind of woman that men go crazy for.
That kind of woman wouldn’t care so much about what he’s saying, doing or not doing – since her focus would be on her own life, she wouldn’t even be thinking about a man who’s not right in front of her. In her mind, it’s up to the man to impress HER and win her over.
Taking your focus completely OFF of a man is what creates the space for him to come towards you.
If a man’s energy isn’t coming towards you, what you want to do is pull your energy OFF of him. In order to do that, you’re going to have to find some other things to do that will completely absorb you and occupy your time, energy, and attention.
See if you can “channel” that super confident woman inside of you when you catch yourself getting too focused on him. This will make you unbelievably attractive! I know you have that energy somewhere inside of you because that’s what likely attracted him (and other men) to you in the first place!
Love, Helena
Alyssa’s Response:
This was the most inspirational email! You’re right, I do have that inside of me. And I know I am pretty confident, but when I start analyzing I kind of get caught up in myself and I forget to look at the big picture.
It’s crazy how things work out… shortly after I read your email and started channeling that energy, HIS energy changed! He was texting me a lot last night and before bed he even said, “Goodnight. I love you. I think about you all the time.”
I feel like a new person this morning! 🙂 – Alyssa
