Getting over a man who’s not “stepping up” in a relationship or dating situation can be extremely difficult – especially when you have strong feelings for him. This was one of the hardest things for me to do in my own life.
Here’s a letter from Julia, a member of my Effortlessly Attract Love teleclass program. What Julia’s done to move on from an imaginary relationship is so inspiring – I wanted to make it a “guest post.” Thank you, Julia!
Julia’s Letter:
Hi Helena,
Things are going good with me, and your last e-mail, though tough to hear (you were telling me my brief Internet fling where the guy disappeared was never real), was a welcome wake-up call, for which I feel grateful. The guy never contacted me again, and I cried about it even on my birthday and felt sorry for myself.
Then I realized how bad it felt to hopelessly wait for a sign from him, so (after waiting a whole month since we last talked), I sent him a short goodbye message, thanking him for the positive feelings I had because of him and saying I’ll still be cherishing the memories. I didn’t do it so he’d write back to me (he didn’t, of course), I did it to give myself some closure. And it felt good.
It may have been masculine-energy-ish of me to do it, and I like to think about it as my inner Boy putting things right so my Girl can feel liberated and ready to go on with life. Which I am! I’m reading inspirational books, taking care of my health, investing in self-care and building myself up like never before (it helps that I’m on holiday now).
I’ve stopped telling myself, “There was ONE amazing guy who liked me, and now he disappeared, bu-hu-huuuu.” I realized that if one amazing guy could be so impressed by me and willing to offer me his attention and energy and affection, then many other men can and will! So yeah, I feel I’m in a better, healthier mental place!
Julia
Letting go of a man who’s no longer “there” – or who isn’t giving you all the love, attention, and affection you deserve – is the first step to creating the space to attract the RIGHT man for you (who will never disappear)!
In the next post, I’m going to give you some steps to help you emotionally detach from an ex – or from any man who’s not right for you or not “stepping up” in the relationship.
3 replies to "How To Get Over A Man Who's Not Stepping Up – Part 1"
Wow I can totally relate to this!! I was in a long distance imaginary relationship for almost a YEAR. I got a similar wake up call and I’m sooo glad I did! The so-called relationship felt so real to me at the time but now that I’ve taken a step back I can clearly see the situation for what it really was. Now I’m enjoying dating and REALLY being pursued by men who don’t disappear on me (and if they do I let it go rather than feeling hung up on them like I used to). Thanks for sharing your story!
Thank you, Tamara, I feel glad you could relate! And it feels good to see this up here, heehee. Thank you, Helena, and lookings forward to part 2!
I went through a similar thing, I thought I was practically engaged to my long distance guy, turns out he was seeing someone else the whole time! I was devastated when I found out but it feels great to no longer be hopelessly waiting for a sign from him as you put it. I’m holding out for a REAL relationship now. 🙂